Tag Archives: Facebook

Rear View Mirror: My Week

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Week In Review:

I have heard said that dogs are better than children because you don’t have to pay for their college education. After spending the last week with four dogs in the house, I can honestly say that even if I did have to pay for their college, I feel pretty safe. A two week small engine repair correspondence course through the mail is all I would be on the hook for, but Ivy League, no. R commented that is was a lot like taking care of “differently-abled five year olds.” Two five year olds , and one mostly-deaf-half-blind-granny-chihuahua, and one chihuahua that “acts more like a cat” which we all know is just a nice way of saying “total fucking bitch.” I would leave every morning after making individualized specialty breakfasts for them and remind them of their lists of chores that they needed to complete that day. Upon my return that evening, absolutely nothing was checked off the list. I mean honestly, how hard is it for an Italian Greyhound to sit on hold with the bank to refi a home loan? Selfish.

I looked through the photos on my phone and it looks like I didn’t take any this week that were worth saving, but I did save a couple photos of a little pig.

20130518-103409.jpg

Work is work. Have you ever seen that episode of “Twilight Zone” called “Last Man on Earth”? It is pretty much like that for me at work, just tag “Without ADD” to the end of the title. Except I don’t break my glasses because I have a backup pair [SPOILER ALERT]. See what happens when you pay attention? You learn shit. I blame MTV.

I have come up with a great idea for a vlog from it, total art through adversity. It would be me asking people questions, being completely ignored, a second or two later, they look up from their phone and say “what?” THE END. The vlog title is “Did I Say That Out Loud?” The questions will be hilarious. Let’s make it happen. Or have you stopped reading because someone re-posted that picture of a cat looking inquisitive with a funny question as a caption? Darn you skeptical-looking animals!

All the dog care required me to alter/postpone/skip my fitness schedule, so naturally, in five days, I have become morbidly obese and am being fork-lifted out my living room window as I type this. I will be spending all next week pushing a block across the floor and wiggling a huge rope, two very popular entry-level gym activities employed by the trainers at my gym. It’s part cardio, part muscle strength, but mostly humiliation. Wiggle the rope, fatty. Wiggle. The. Rope.

I probably watched some TV and listened to some podcasts, nothing sticks out as note-worthy, other than Selected Shorts and their recent partnering with David Sedaris. That Daft Punk Soul Train video was great.

Looks like over at Wasp & Pear (where I ‘archive’ my life), it was mostly Style Icons and photos of abandoned places (so same old). I continue to love Tumblr more than facebook, it is just so much more interesting. It’s like if facebook and twitter had a really nerdy kid that went to art school and spent all of his free time trolling the internet for beautiful/interesting photos/writings/videos. Yes, I arbitrarily assigned a gender to the facebook/twitter offspring. It is what Pinterest could have been if the #weddings hashtag never existed or was blocked/banned. Is writing ‘hashtag’ after writing #hashtag the same thing as saying “PIN number?”

Over at Waldina, it looks like it was Studs Turkel, Morrissey, Mt. St. Helens, Lewis & Clark, and Pam Grier that occupied my interests last week. Nice variety.

I did take a photo last night of a rhododendron in front of the house across the street from Kurt and Courtney‘s old house.  You should drive by, the entire wall is in bloom.

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40 Things To Say Before You Die – Self Help

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Before you’re sprawled on your deathbed, there are some things you really have to say. They’re not complicated. They’re not poetry.

They’re just short sentences with big meaning.

I hope they get you talking.

40
“I wonder.”

Give yourself time to think so the time you spend doing things will be better spent.

39
“Today was good.”

If you can say it once, you can say it again. And again. And again.

38
“I believe in this.”

A god, a plan, a company, a person, an idea—you have to put your faith in something.

37
“I’m not finished.”

Only you get to decide when your life’s work is done.

36
“Thank you for making this possible.”

Because nobody does anything alone. We’re driven and supported and thwarted by others at every turn.

35
“That’s enough.”

Food. Drink. Episodes of Law & Order. Pairs of shoes. Overtime. Articulating your own limits is powerful.

34
“I can do better.”

As soon as you say it, you’re that much closer to making it true.

33
“I’m sorry.”

But you can’t just say it; you have to mean it. Really mean it.

32
“I survived.”

Moments of danger are the plot points of an exciting life.

31
“You’re amazing.”

Let yourself be in awe of another person, and you’ll feel strong and weak simultaneously.

30
“I am home.”

Home is every adventure’s final destination and starting point—and we all need one to call our own.

29
“I did my best.”

If this is true, you did something amazing.

28
“How can I help you?”

Because you want people to come to your funeral, and if they can’t make it, at least they’ll miss you.

27
“I’m lucky.”

You are lucky, in a way that no one else is. Now, what are you going to do with your good fortune?

26
“I want that.”

Ask for it: that’s you get what you covet—from others and for yourself.

25
“This is wrong.”

If you never say it, you embody the statement.

24
“I quit.”

Not everything is worthwhile, and sometimes we don’t find that out until we’re in the middle of a rotten situation.

23
“Isn’t this beautiful?”

The more often you notice the gorgeous world around you, the happier you’ll be.

22
“Congratulations.”

Say this without jealously. Practice if you have to.

21
“Damn, I look good.”

You come from a long line of people who convinced others to sleep with them. Remember that.

20
“I can master this.”

The ability to learn is the foundation of every other talent.

19
“Hold the mayo.”

Ask for the little things on a regular basis and you’ll find that it’s easier to make larger demands on occasion.

18
“This is who I am.”

The nervous energy spent pretending to be something you’re not is better spent on practically anything else.

17
“Get out.”

It’s always harder to take back an invitation than to give one, but protecting yourself from personified trouble is always worth the effort.

16
“That was my contribution.”

Own what you’ve worked to create—that’s how your presence will be felt long after you’re gone.

15
“I’ll try it.”

Consider the impotence of never saying you’ll try.

14
“Tell me more.”

Really getting to know someone (or some topic) will help you better triangulate your own place in the world.

13“This is my favorite thing.”

Enjoy what you love and say this as often as you can.

12
“I earned this.”

There’s a layer of proud ownership over everything you possess that wasn’t merely given to you.

11
“I don’t care.”

Being able to discern between what’s important and what’s trivial is a skill that will save your sanity and your schedule.

10
“Your secret is safe with me.”

Because it feels deep-down good to be trustworthy.

9
“Eureka!”

Being the first to know something is a delicious sensation.

8
“Let’s go!”

Where you’re going often matters far less than the enthusiasm you have for the trip.

7
“I trust you.”

We all need allies, and admitting as much helps forge alliances.

6
“I don’t know how to do this.”

It’s better to admit it and learn than to fake it and embarrass yourself.

5
“I’m terrified.”

Fear is an asset. It can save you from danger and alert you to trouble. Don’t ignore the tingles that run up and down your spine.

4
“This is going to work.”

When this is said truthfully, it’s an assertion of power.

3
“I made a decision.”

Autonomy transforms any activity from a chore to an act of destiny.

2
“I love you.”

We all want to say this, and we all want it said to us.

1
“I understand.”

More important than being right, or being important, is being truly aware.

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Daily Prompt: Cringe-Worthy

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I didn't have a photo of anything that seemed to fit.

I didn’t have a photo of anything that seemed to fit.

The question is:

Do you feel uncomfortable when you see someone else being embarrassed? What’s most likely to make you squirm?

1.  Devout Anything.  You name it, if you use a reason of why you do or do not do or believe anything because “I’m a [whatever].”  I cringe.  That goes for Christians, Catholics, Jew, Democrat, Republican, vegan, vegetarian, or whatever other title people seem to need to ascribe to themselves as an easy way of claiming identity.  I cringe, I absolutely cringe. I want to hear the reason you do not eat any animal products because you do not believe that they are healthy or ethical or whatever.  THAT is a reason, saying it is because you are a vegan is a cop out.  In my mind, people that are devout anything are hypocrites, liars, elitists, extremists and unthinking robots.

2.  Public Expressions of Love.  We have all seen that fairly-new celebrity couple on a talk show exclaiming that their new mats is the love of their life.  I cringe.  Next week, it’s the cover of People Magazine about their break up.  Thanks to facebook, you no longer have to be a celebrity to make such exclamations to the world.  You can be in madly in love with a new person every week, be constantly changing your relationship status, and all done by the click of a mouse.  Embarrassing.

3.  Loud, Emotional Drunks.  Drinking unties the knots that bind the feelings that you keep hidden.  If you are sad, angry, or just ‘going through it’, drinking will most likely amplify, exaggerate, and magnify it.  When I see a very drunk person crying/screaming, I cringe.  I absolutely physically cringe.  Drinking isn’t going to make you feel better and definitely will not make you forget (thanks camera phones and social media!).  There have been times when I have not drank because I was afraid I would start crying and never stop.

4.  Mutton dressed and acting as Lamb.  It could be my age and recognizing that there is an age-appropriate way to dress and act and when ignoring those basic rules, everyone sees you as desperately grasping and scratching at any small crumb of youth that you may still possess.  My personal age-appropriate rules of dress are much more strict and when I see them broken by others, I do not cringe.  I wear well-fitting clothes in a limited color palate, I do not follow trends and I stay away from brand logos or elaborate embellishments.  That is basically it.  When guys a few years older than me have fauxhawks, wear Abercrombie & Fitch tshirts and are cranking dance music out of their new Fiat 500.  I double-plus cringe and think ‘there, but for the grace of Diana Vreeland, go I.”  I cringe because I know that it could have easily been me, if not for the wise guidance of a few pioneers I have observed.  It is knowing youthfulness comes from within, a curiosity, a light.  We have all known 80 year-olds with sharp tongues and sparkles in their eyes.  That is youth.

I have to save the rest of my cringing for my trip to Target later today.

Daily Prompt: Cringe-Worthy | The Daily Post.

These People are Cringing too:

Social Media and Me

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I had no idea what photo to choose for this post.

I had no idea what photo to choose for this post.

**since writing this, I have deleted my Google+ , twitter, and Pinterest accounts (and obviously stopped using Bufferapp, reddit, and digg). they just were not adding anything to my life. I did create a new tumblr blog called “Wasp & Pear” that I am still fine tuning. It appears that Tumblr is what facebook should have and could have been:  artistically creative instead of sinister.  Wasp & Pear will be getting push-feeds from my various places, plus content I find while I’m clicking around. It’s like a digest of what I ingest, internetly speaking**

It seems to bet getting to the point where I am losing interest in a lot of the internet.

I have deleted the Facebook app from my phone and really only check it once when I get home from the gym. I still post the daily blog post to it, but am considering even cutting that out at the end of the month. It seems like Facebook has really run it’s course. I have unfriended everyone who over-shares, argues, holds vastly different opinions/beliefs than mine, etc. I read things from people bragging that they have “friends of all beliefs and opinions,” but it is simply not true. These people are not their friends, they are people they are linked to on Facebook, they are not IRL friends. It is sad they do not understand that. Yes, I have deleted people because they have ‘liked’ things that either mean they are thoughtless idiots that like everything without thinking it through or they like things that means they cannot actually like/respect me (if you like Mars Hill Church, you cannot like me, if you like Paul Ryan, you cannot like me, simple fact). I do not have the interest in such internet hypocrisies. I am all-but deleting Facebook because I wish to continue to have a way to contact the people that are on my friends list, most of whom are either distant relatives and former schoolmates/coworkers. If there were an easy way to remove content I have already posted, I would probably ‘wipe’ it down to posts no older than one month. If you’re old enough to have a job and to have a life, you use Facebook exactly as advertised, you look up old friends, or you should. It’s the comment trolls that have ruined Facebook (and the entire internet actually. Why on earth do they allow comments on news stories? If a commenter had something relevant to add, they would have been quoted in the story.)

Do yourself a favor and avoid reading comments of any sort as much as possible, you will feel better about humans.

Obviously, I “chronicle what inspires me” at waldina.com and follow several wordpress hosted blogs. I am also utterly obsessed with brainpickings, letters of note, McSweeney’s, and lifehacker. They are smart, fascinating blogs that I read regularly (and you should too).  If you have a blog on the WordPress platform, you can add me to your reader, there is a RSS link on the right hand side, so you could really add me to any reader.

I tweet and ADN because I enjoy being able to quickly read news headlines and similar updates. I do not understand the desire for people (mostly some sort of self-described ‘coach’) to collect followers and then send out a constant flow of marketing tweets. No one cares and no one appreciates that shotgun approach. My tweets automatically self-destruct after seven days, I see no reason to keep stale tweets around. The media is designed to be of-the-now, so why archive old ones?  But now, I gave it up, I felt like I was requesting that companies try to sell me things.

I adore ADN because it is so tech-heavy and that is really what fascinates me, everyone on there is really smart. Plus, I got to be @spa.

Pinterest? Meh. I am more-or-less over it. It got better once I stopped following the people that were mistakenly using it as Picassa. Like I need to see all the photos of your kids on motorcycles? But unless I am planning a wedding (I am not), I do not really see myself looking at it regularly.  And clearly, I have deleted it.

LinkedIn has not found me a job yet, so I look at it as a required placeholder for that, but I will never submit updates of any kind to it. I will keep my information current, but it seems more like a public resume service than anything else.

Instagram is the best way to just drop a photo out there for whatever reason, I do not feel like it is as needy as posting it on Facebook. I like the filters and I like being able to snap a photo with my phone, play around with the colors and share it.

What is not to like about Words With Friends? I am usually in about four games with different friends and I am usually losing three of them. I am not sure why they continue to play with me, I guess they like winning. I like trying.

Don’t get me wrong, I am no Luddite, I adore technology, newness, convenience, and the amazing things that creative people have been able to create. I even have an IFTTT recipe set up to email me an invite when new start-ups are featured on betali.st. I am excited about the possibilities.

In conclusion (you can click on the hyper links to follow me:

  • Facebook: Over it.
  • Twitter: News headlines, etc. (DELETED)
  • ADN: Smartest people on social media.
  • Pinterest: Ya, I guess I can look at your garden inspiration photo collection. (DELETED)
  • LinkedIn: I would like it more if it worked better for me, it is really designed for professional networking.
  • Instagram: Keep posting photos of stuff you see on the street.
  • Words With Friends: My ass gets kicked regularly.
  • waldina.com:  I chronicle what inspires me and will continue to do so.  I like the blogs I follow and hope to find more.
  • Wasp & Pear:  Bloggers on Tumblr are very very hip.  It’s like you have walked into a party and everyone is talking about art, architecture and film and no one has even mentioned what they do for a living.
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2012 Year In Review

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2012 is so over.  I have compiled a month-by-month list of the ‘Best of SPA/Waldina” and posted it below.  I love best/worst lists at the end of the year.  In fact, I included some that I found over the internet at the end of this post.  I hope 2013 is astonishingly kick ass for you.

Instagram. We love it. We hate it. I have chosen one photo of a moderately artsy nature (less faces and such) from each month of 2012. There is a link to my Instagram profile on the right-side navigation bar, I am parkeranderson.

JANUARY: A street mural in Puerto Vallarta.
MARCH: “Re-Bar” The photo booth where so many great memories have been captured over the last 20 years.
FEBRUARY: The photo booth at Re-Bar is responsible for some of my favorite memories for the last 20 years.
APRIL: “Push For Signal” We are the 99%, we are. I love the small messages that are placed everywhere in the city, I love that activism.
MAY: “Uh, what are you trying to say?” This was seen on a walk near the train yard in Interbay.
JUNE: “Drive in Movie” It is still a real experience, still exactly the same as you remember it.
JULY: “Pistachio Pac Man.” I found these little guys on the street when I was stepping out of the car.
AUGUST: “Moped a Go Go on the Ferry.” A group of 30 mopeds and scooters all got on the Vashon ferry with us, it was amazing.
SEPTEMBER: “However, the alley is free game and slightly cleaner.” Columbia City, keeping it classy as always.
OCTOBER: “The discarded wig at the CC Station is easing my transition to suburbia. #RoughNight” I do miss that wig.
NOVEMBER: “There goes the neighborhood. #haters #liars #crooks.” It’s true, they use their new-found born-again christian spirituality as a weapon against everything they disagree with.
DECEMBER: “I love how the glow of the street lights refract off the aluminum foil over the windows. #MobileMethLab” Seriously, I need to know what’s going on in there.

Now let’s take a look at my favorite blog post from each month.  Amongst all the Style Icons and Not So Secret Obsessions, I have chosen the ones that I like the most.  Or the ones that I think are worth a second look.  I may be re-fry some of them for 2013, but for now these are my favorites of 2012:

JANUARY:  Screwball – If you have a chance, you should see “Holiday.”  It is probably one of my very favorite screwball comedies, although choosing one is impossible.  You could just add everything that George Cukor directed to your Netflix and that is a great start.

FEBRUARY:  “Mrs de Florian – Style Icon” – For 70 years the Parisian apartment had been left uninhabited, under lock and key, the rent faithfully paid but no hint of what was inside.

MARCH:  “Open Letter To Politicians.” – I want to cast my vote for who I believe in the most, not for who I disagree with the least.

APRIL:  “Coffee: The Greatest Addiction Ever” – Every day the world consumes 300 tones of caffeine – enough for one cup of coffee for every man, woman and child.

MAY:  “Tornado” – Tragedy blows through your life like a tornado, uprooting everything, creating chaos. You wait for the dust to settle, and then you choose. You can live in the wreckage and pretend it’s still the mansion you remember. Or you can crawl from the rubble and slowly rebuild. Because after disaster strikes, the important thing is that you move on. But if you’re like me, you just keep chasing the storm.

JUNE:  “Forgetting Does Not Mean Forgiving: A Father’s Day Message” – Be the parent you wanted, not the one you had.

JULY:  “But I’ d rather know a shover than a pusher ’cause a pusher’s a jerk.” – I came to a realization this weekend.  It’s not that I don’t like children as much as it is I really don’t like some of their parents.

AUGUST:  “What Was Saved” – Your house is burning. You have to get out fast. Suddenly you are forced to prioritize, editing down a lifetime of possessions to a mere handful. Now you must decide: Of all the things you own, what is most important to you?

SEPTEMBER:  “The Art of Coffee: A Mad Men Era Short Film” – How, then, do we make the perfect cup of coffee to our taste? Success lies in a single word: Care.

OCTOBER:  “Karl Lagerfeld – Humanity’s Antagonist” – “What can you write that hasn’t been written already?”

NOVEMBER:  “Daily Prompt: Last Words (of Advice)” – “Never tell anyone you collect frogs.”

DECEMBER:  “Stick Figure Model Confidential – Fire” – I like the end results of the shoot and think that my work here will save lives.  That’s what it is all about, isn’t it?

2012 LISTS

Best Books of 2012 by GoodReads (voted by readers)

Ten Greats We Lost In 2012 by EOnline

Top Wikipedial Searches for 2012  by The Washington Post

The Most Compelling LGBT People of 2012 by The Huffington Post

Anti-LGBT Villains of 2012 by The Huffington Post

But this is by far the best of 2012:

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6th (Self Help) Day of Xmas – Liz

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Words from a woman who LIVED/LOVED/LAUGHED the hell out of life. You should do it too, in your own way.

“The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.” – Elizabeth Taylor

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Hey Thanks.

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I didn’t have a picture of pilgrims, but I had a picture of pills.

 

Since a large portion of us still remember getting our first cordless home phone, and testing it’s boundaries by walking as far away from the base station as we could (ours worked all the way to the mailbox), it is understandable that we can get annoyed from time to time with how constantly connected we are now.   I do not need to know everything going on in everyone that I follow/friend always now, right now, 3 seconds ago.  The ever-so-slightly younger generations are used to this level of connectivity and do not find the minutia exhausting, it is kind of like an advanced filter or just plain old ADD, but they have managed to deal with the constant updates.  This is why I am thankful for these little helpers:

Nutshellmail sends an email of everything that’s happened on Twitter, FB and Linkedin since the previous message. It cuts off at a given point which you can set, so you won’t get everything. But you don’t need to see every post. Status updates, replies, comments, likes, everything can be done through links in the email (which take you to their site).

IFTTT seriously changed my online life and made it less online without being less.  Does that make sense?  It allows you to create “recipes” that you design yourself (or borrow from other users).  If you like to tweet everything you post on facebook, they will do it automatically for you.  If you want an email every time NetFlix adds new streaming movies, or a new LifeHaker DealHaker post is created, or to have your facebook status updates automatically tweeted, it is all done automatically.  Brilliant.  Do you want to know when the CDC reports a Zombie outbreak?  They got your back.  Oh, it stands for IF This Then That, since you are creating specific criteria that triggers the recipe to launch.
Thank World Wide Web

Better Like This? Or Better Like This?

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I am deciding on my next pair of readers from Warby Parker.  I have three pairs currently, but need a new pair (with a stronger power) and decided to use their Home Try-On Program.  You can pick up to five pairs of glasses to try on at home, it takes all the worry out of online buying.  They ship them to you, you ship them back after you decide which one is the best for you.

Also, for every pair of glasses they sell, they provide a pair to someone in need.  So you read easier and help someone see better all at the same time.  Here are the options I chose, feel free to vote below:

Thompson Revolver in black
Beckett Striped in evergreen
Holt in coca cola
Holt in blue fade

This Is Why You Were Friended or Unfriended

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November 17th is National Unfriend Day, but why put off tomorrow what you can do today? I feel no obligation to remain facebook friends with people from high school or old coworkers or people I used to think were cute or celebrities or anyone that has a very different political/religious/social view. It’s a social media, not an argument media or disrespect others opinions media. It probably would have been better if facebook would have used a different word than “friends,” because un-friending is taken so personally when it doesn’t need to be. I do not see the need to “celebrate the differences” or “agree to disagree.” There are reasons that people fall out of contact with people they knew through circumstances of proximity, it is just that the internet now makes us feel obligated to stay in contact. We used to have the choice to keep in touch with people we no longer see daily, I say we still do. I recently went through my friends list and made some deep cuts using a pretty simple criteria: you need to be smart, funny and/or entertaining. I have to like you. Here are my examples:

If we worked together ten years ago and barely socialized outside of work then and not at all now and you have not helped me get a job at whatever company you moved to and you are not smart, funny and/or entertaining? Bye.

If your politics are very different than mine and you routinely refer to people with views different than yours in derogatory terms and are not smart, funny and/or entertaining? Later.

If you use your religion as a weapon against people who do not believe in your exact flavor of spirituality and are not smart, funny and/or entertaining? See ya.

If you invite me to join Farmville (or whatever is the next Farmville). Tootle-Loo

If your posts are sad pathetic cries for attention. So long.

If you are not smart or funny. The least you could do was post embarrassing drunken photos of yourself. Peace out.

If we went to high school together and the most we have ever interacted was the Facebook friend request and you have not grown into someone that is smart, funny and/or entertaining? I gotta go.

But do not take it personally, it is not you, it’s me. Well, it is not just me, it is an internet-wide trend and chances are you are unfriending too.

My reasons are quite similar to a recent study results. According to Pew’s most recent study on social networking sites, most users don’t agree with their friends’ political postings. As the election approaches, it’s only going to get worse. Here’s why we’re unfriending one another these days:

• Because you post too often about political subjects (10 percent of users have blocked or hidden someone for this reason)

• Because you posted something you find so disagreeable it was offensive (9 percent)

• Because you argued with me about politics (8 percent — but doesn’t it take two to make an argument?)

• Because you posted something that would offend my friends (5 percent)

• Because I disagree with your political posts (4 percent)

Unfriending has become so rampant that the word was 2009’s word of the year in the Oxford Dictionary. Emotions run high around unfriending, too — especially now that there are apps that notify users when they’ve been dropped from someone else’s Facebook list. There have even been cases of people reacting violently in real life to a cyber unfriending.

Other studies about Facebook unfriending, such as a 2010 one conducted by the University of Colorado at Denver, have come to similar conclusions.

“Unfriending reflects the instrumentalization and commodifying of friendship on Facebook,” Lee Siegel, author of “Against the Machine: Being Human in the Age of the Electronic Mob,” told the New York Times. “Why unfriend someone at all? After all, in the real world, you don’t just ignore an obnoxious relative. The very act of unfriending acknowledges that the Facebook definition of friend is different from the traditional.”

Here is how to clean up your facebook news feed:

Hide a person or a type of story (ex: quizzes or games)
Hover over the top-right menu of a story, click the drop-down menu and choose what you’d like to hide:

  1. Hide story will remove the story you’re looking at
  2. Hide all by and Unsubscribe from will remove the story you’re looking at, as well as all future stories from a person, Page, group, event or app
  3. Report story or spam will remove the story you’re looking at and help keep your news feed clear of stories like it in the future

If you accidentally hide something you want to see, click the Undo link.

To unfriend someone:

  1. Go to that person’s profile (timeline)
  2. Hover over the Friends box at the top of their profile (timeline)
  3. Click Unfriend

Note: If you choose to unfriend someone, you will be removed from that person’s friends list as well. If you want to be friends with this person again, you’ll need to send a new friend request.

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How Facebook Makes You Think Life’s Not Fair

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I must admit, the main reason I like this article is because of the fat cat photo.  I like the idea of the cat cropping out all his fatness and even photoshopping off the extra huge cheeks.  It’s funny.

The article feels true to me, but also, it feels right.  I do limit my time on Facebook.  Not exactly because I feel everyone has a much more fabulous life than I do, but partly.  Partly also that no one wants to have a real discussion.  You post something that someone disagrees with and they attack you or you disagree with something someone has written and they take it as a threat.

I once made a point of replying to a post that someone made about the vandals on May Day, he called them “deadbeat retards living off of the government.”  I found it to be a lazy assumption about a group of people that were already getting too much attention when compared with the number of people who peacefully protested.  I don’t agree with the destruction they caused, but I also do not see any point of posts like that when there are plenty of actual facts that he could have used.  He told me that he wasn’t surprised that I was sticking up for them because “people that think like you do” always stick together.  All I was trying to do was to elevate his argument away from silly name-calling.  His cousin then decided to stick up for him by stating, “last time I checked, we were in America and entitled to our own opinions.”  I explained that I agreed, but she continued to attack.  I deleted all my comments and unfriended him.

Repeat a similar scenario about childhood cancer and another about gun control involving people that I used to know 20 years ago and reconnected over Facebook (but the most Facebook interaction we had was at the initial friend request), both resulting in me deleting all my comments and un-friending them.  I am exhausted.

I know we all can agree to disagree, but at the same time, we don’t have to agree to remain Facebook friends.  There are no requirements or etiquette that make you keep all your Facebook friends.  Think about it as real life:  you loose contact with people for any number of reasons, it just happens.  Now, you kind of have to make it happen, but it doesn’t mean you are a bad person, and even if you think it does make you a bad person, fuck it, pull the trigger and un-friend.  Unclog your Facebook feed of people that hold it hostage, stop diluting it with garbage.  They probably won’t even notice.

Call it the unwritten rule of Facebook: People don’t post pictures about the parts of their lives that suck. And while you sit in your boring, old apartment and flip through photos of your buddy’s trip to New Zealand, you may start to wonder why your life is so dull. Turns out you’re not the only one, finds a new study from Utah Valley University.

Facebook is all about managing other people’s impressions, the study explains. Past research has shown that Facebook users carefully cultivate profiles that highlight positive attributes and associations, while downplaying or excluding undesirable traits.

Duh, right? But here’s where it gets interesting: The Utah Valley team wondered how these exaggeratedly awesome profiles might impact self-perception among regular Facebook users. To find out, they recruited 425 undergraduates and asked each to complete a questionnaire detailing their use of the social networking site and their outlook on life.

Their findings: The more time a student spent on Facebook, the more likely he was to believe that his friends’ lived happier lives, and that life itself is unfair.

Those feelings increased among students who had the greatest number of Facebook “friends” that weren’t really personal acquaintances. (Example: That dude in your econ class who you’ve talked to exactly once.)

Why does this happen? Staring at everyone else’s happiest times on Facebook gives you the impression that those people are always having a blast, explains study author Grace Chou, Ph.D., a behavioral scientist at UVU. As a result, you subconsciously start to believe that everyone is living a cooler, more exciting life than you are—even though you’d probably realize that wasn’t true if you really thought about it. This effect is magnified when you don’t know your “friend” personally because your perception of his or her life is based exclusively on a (somewhat bogus) Facebook profile.

Now, don’t get us wrong. There are plenty of benefits to Facebook. Studies have shown the site can help facilitate civic and political participation, and it allows you to stay connected with real-life friends and family members. But too much time spent in the Facebook utopia can be a downer, especially if your “friends” are really just random acquaintances, Chou says.

The students in the study spent an average of about 5 hours each week on Facebook. Aim to stay at or below that level, and restrict your group of “friends” to real friends, and life may seem a little sweeter, Chou advises.

via How Facebook Makes You Think Life’s Not Fair | Men’s Health News.