Tag Archives: Jesus

Why I am a Liberal – Not So Secret Obsession

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“A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.” ~ Greek proverb

Why am I am liberal? 

I am a liberal because I care about the well being of others.

I’m a liberal because I live it and I believe it. I don’t show up in church on Sunday and pay lip-service to the teachings of Jesus Christ then spend the rest of the week using my religion as a weapon against people I do not know or understand.  I do it because it’s the moral and right thing to do, not because some Cosmic Father Figure is going to spank me in the hereafter if I don’t.  I have never understood why Republicans claim to be so very Christian when they are the least Christ-like in their behaviors.

I’m a liberal because I know education and a chance to move up in the world is a basic desire and should not be denied to anyone. I believe I owe my fellow humans a certain standard of decency and dignity. I’m a liberal because I know that sometimes bad shit happens to good people, for no good reason. I’m a liberal because I don’t believe life begins at conception and ends at birth.

I’m a liberal because I believe that a society that lets the mentally ill wander the streets and live under a bush is uncivilized. I’m a liberal because people deserve a chance.

I’m liberal because I know that unregulated capitalism results in Enrons and mortgage meltdowns, manipulative monopolies and poisoned air and water. I’m a liberal because I know there are evil people who will exploit the weak for a few bucks.

I’m a liberal because I believe what happens in your bedroom between consenting adults is your own business and none of mine.

I’m a liberal because I believe that science, real science, belongs in science class, and religion belongs in the church.  Creationism is not science.

I’m liberal because I am outraged that over half of all bankruptcies are caused by the high cost of health care.  I know how slippery my (and most everyone’s) hold on success is.  One bout with cancer, one bad accident, one lay off and I could have to decide if going into severe debt and possible bankruptcy is worth my life. I’m a liberal because I recognize this and want the safety net to be around anyone need it.

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“A Telephone Call” – Dorothy Parker

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“A Telephone Call”
by Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

PLEASE, God, let him telephone me now. Dear God, let him call me now. I won’t ask anything else of You, truly I won’t. It isn’t very much to ask. It would be so little to You, God, such a little, little thing. Only let him telephone now. Please, God. Please, please, please.

If I didn’t think about it, maybe the telephone might ring. Sometimes it does that. If I could think of something else. If I could think of something else. Knobby if I counted five hundred by fives, it might ring by that time. I’ll count slowly. I won’t cheat. And if it rings when I get to three hundred, I won’t stop; I won’t answer it until I get to five hundred. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five, forty, forty-five, fifty…. Oh, please ring. Please.

This is the last time I’ll look at the clock. I will not look at it again. It’s ten minutes past seven. He said he would telephone at five o’clock. “I’ll call you at five, darling.” I think that’s where he said “darling.” I’m almost sure he said it there. I know he called me “darling” twice, and the other time was when he said good-by. “Good-by, darling.” He was busy, and he can’t say much in the office, but he called me “darling” twice. He couldn’t have minded my calling him up. I know you shouldn’t keep telephoning them–I know they don’t like that. When you do that they know you are thinking about them and wanting them, and that makes them hate you. But I hadn’t talked to him in three days-not in three days. And all I did was ask him how he was; it was just the way anybody might have called him up. He couldn’t have minded that. He couldn’t have thought I was bothering him. “No, of course you’re not,” he said. And he said he’d telephone me. He didn’t have to say that. I didn’t ask him to, truly I didn’t. I’m sure I didn’t. I don’t think he would say he’d telephone me, and then just never do it. Please don’t let him do that, God. Please don’t.

“I’ll call you at five, darling.” “Good-by, darling.,’ He was busy, and he was in a hurry, and there were people around him, but he called me “darling” twice. That’s mine, that’s mine. I have that, even if I never see him again. Oh, but that’s so little. That isn’t enough. Nothing’s enough, if I never see him again. Please let me see him again, God. Please, I want him so much. I want him so much. I’ll be good, God. I will try to be better, I will, If you will let me see him again. If You will let him telephone me. Oh, let him telephone me now.

Ah, don’t let my prayer seem too little to You, God. You sit up there, so white and old, with all the angels about You and the stars slipping by. And I come to You with a prayer about a telephone call. Ah, don’t laugh, God. You see, You don’t know how it feels. You’re so safe, there on Your throne, with the blue swirling under You. Nothing can touch You; no one can twist Your heart in his hands. This is suffering, God, this is bad, bad suffering. Won’t You help me? For Your Son’s sake, help me. You said You would do whatever was asked of You in His name. Oh, God, in the name of Thine only beloved Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord, let him telephone me now.

I must stop this. I mustn’t be this way. Look. Suppose a young man says he’ll call a girl up, and then something happens, and he doesn’t. That isn’t so terrible, is it? Why, it’s gong on all over the world, right this minute. Oh, what do I care what’s going on all over the world? Why can’t that telephone ring? Why can’t it, why can’t it? Couldn’t you ring? Ah, please, couldn’t you? You damned, ugly, shiny thing. It would hurt you to ring, wouldn’t it? Oh, that would hurt you. Damn you, I’ll pull your filthy roots out of the wall, I’ll smash your smug black face in little bits. Damn you to hell.

No, no, no. I must stop. I must think about something else. This is what I’ll do. I’ll put the clock in the other room. Then I can’t look at it. If I do have to look at it, then I’ll have to walk into the bedroom, and that will be something to do. Maybe, before I look at it again, he will call me. I’ll be so sweet to him, if he calls me. If he says he can’t see me tonight, I’ll say, “Why, that’s all right, dear. Why, of course it’s all right.” I’ll be the way I was when I first met him. Then maybe he’ll like me again. I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.

I think he must still like me a little. He couldn’t have called me “darling” twice today, if he didn’t still like me a little. It isn’t all gone, if he still likes me a little; even if it’s only a little, little bit. You see, God, if You would just let him telephone me, I wouldn’t have to ask You anything more. I would be sweet to him, I would be gay, I would be just the way I used to be, and then he would love me again. And then I would never have to ask You for anything more. Don’t You see, God? So won’t You please let him telephone me? Won’t You please, please, please?

Are You punishing me, God, because I’ve been bad? Are You angry with me because I did that? Oh, but, God, there are so many bad people –You could not be hard only to me. And it wasn’t very bad; it couldn’t have been bad. We didn’t hurt anybody, God. Things are only bad when they hurt people. We didn’t hurt one single soul; You know that. You know it wasn’t bad, don’t You, God? So won’t You let him telephone me now?

If he doesn’t telephone me, I’ll know God is angry with me. I’ll count five hundred by fives, and if he hasn’t called me then, I will know God isn’t going to help me, ever again. That will be the sign. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five, forty, forty-five, fifty, fifty-five. . . It was bad. I knew it was bad. All right, God, send me to hell. You think You’re frightening me with Your hell, don’t You? You think. Your hell is worse than mine.

I mustn’t. I mustn’t do this. Suppose he’s a little late calling me up –that’s nothing to get hysterical about. Maybe he isn’t going to call–maybe he’s coming straight up here without telephoning. He’ll be cross if he sees I have been crying. They don’t like you to cry. He doesn’t cry. I wish to God I could make him cry. I wish I could make him cry and tread the floor and feel his heart heavy and big and festering in him. I wish I could hurt him like hell.

He doesn’t wish that about me. I don’t think he even knows how he makes me feel. I wish he could know, without my telling him. They don’t like you to tell them they’ve made you cry. They don’t like you to tell them you’re unhappy because of them. If you do, they think you’re possessive and exacting. And then they hate you. They hate you whenever you say anything you really think. You always have to keep playing little games. Oh, I thought we didn’t have to; I thought this was so big I could say whatever I meant. I guess you can’t, ever. I guess there isn’t ever anything big enough for that. Oh, if he would just telephone, I wouldn’t tell him I had been sad about him. They hate sad people. I would be so sweet and so gay, he couldn’t help but like me. If he would only telephone. If he would only telephone.

Maybe that’s what he is doing. Maybe he is coming on here without calling me up. Maybe he’s on his way now. Something might have happened to him. No, nothing could ever happen to him. I can’t picture anything happening to him. I never picture him run over. I never see him lying still and long and dead. I wish he were dead. That’s a terrible wish. That’s a lovely wish. If he were dead, he would be mine. If he were dead, I would never think of now and the last few weeks. I would remember only the lovely times. It would be all beautiful. I wish he were dead. I wish he were dead, dead, dead.

This is silly. It’s silly to go wishing people were dead just because they don’t call you up the very minute they said they would. Maybe the clock’s fast; I don’t know whether it’s right. Maybe he’s hardly late at all. Anything could have made him a little late. Maybe he had to stay at his office. Maybe he went home, to call me up from there, and somebody came in. He doesn’t like to telephone me in front of people. Maybe he’s worried, just alittle, little bit, about keeping me waiting. He might even hope that I would call him up. I could do that. I could telephone him.

I mustn’t. I mustn’t, I mustn’t. Oh, God, please don’t let me telephone him. Please keep me from doing that. I know, God, just as well as You do, that if he were worried about me, he’d telephone no matter where he was or how many people there were around him. Please make me know that, God. I don’t ask YOU to make it easy for me–You can’t do that, for all that You could make a world. Only let me know it, God. Don’t let me go on hoping. Don’t let me say comforting things to myself. Please don’t let me hope, dear God. Please don’t.

I won’t telephone him. I’ll never telephone him again as long as I live. He’ll rot in hell, before I’ll call him up. You don’t have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I ram. He knows I’m waiting here. He’s so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you. I should think it would be so sweet to be sure.

It would be so easy to telephone him. Then I’d know. Maybe it wouldn’t be a foolish thing to do. Maybe he wouldn’t mind. Maybe he’d like it. Maybe he has been trying to get me. Sometimes people try and try to get you on the telephone, and they say the number doesn’t answer. I’m not just saying that to help myself; that really happens. You know that really happens, God. Oh, God, keep me away from that telephone. Kcep me away. Let me still have just a little bit of pride. I think I’m going to need it, God. I think it will be all I’ll have.

Oh, what does pride matter, when I can’t stand it if I don’t talk to him? Pride like that is such a silly, shabby little thing. The real pride, the big pride, is in having no pride. I’m not saying that just because I want to call him. I am not. That’s true, I know that’s true. I will be big. I will be beyond little prides.

Please, God, keep me from, telephoning him. Please, God.

I don’t see what pride has to do with it. This is such a little thing, for me to be bringing in pride, for me to be making such a fuss about. I may have misunderstood him. Maybe he said for me to call him up, at five. “Call me at five, darling.” He could have said that, perfectly well. It’s so possible that I didn’t hear him right. “Call me at five, darling.” I’m almost sure that’s what he said. God, don’t let me talk this way to myself. Make me know, please make me know.

I’ll think about something else. I’ll just sit quietly. If I could sit still. If I could sit still. Maybe I could read. Oh, all the books are about people who love each other, truly and sweetly. What do they want to write about that for? Don’t they know it isn’t tree? Don’t they know it’s a lie, it’s a God damned lie? What do they have to tell about that for, when they know how it hurts? Damn them, damn them, damn them.

I won’t. I’ll be quiet. This is nothing to get excited about. Look. Suppose he were someone I didn’t know very well. Suppose he were another girl. Then I d just telephone and say, “Well, for goodness’ sake, what happened to you?” That’s what I’d do, and I’d never even think about it. Why can’t I be casual and natural, just because I love him? I can be. Honestly, I can be. I’ll call him up, and be so easy and pleasant. You see if I won’t, God. Oh, don’t let me call him. Don’t, don’t, don’t.

God, aren’t You really going to let him call me? Are You sure, God? Couldn’t You please relent? Couldn’t You? I don’t even ask You to let him telephone me this minute, God; only let him do it in a little while. I’ll count five hundred by fives. I’ll do it so slowly and so fairly. If he hasn’t telephoned then, I’ll call him. I will. Oh, please, dear God, dear kind God, my blessed Father in Heaven, let him call before then. Please, God. Please.

Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twentyfive, thirty, thirty-five.

A Reference Of Female-Fronted Punk Rock: 1977-89

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I do not like that Adele and the rest of those cry babies.  I want to listen to girls that fuck shit up.  Oh boo hoo, shut up, get angry, turn that hurt into art, scream, do whatever you want, just don’t be Tori Amos.

You know how it is, you are listening to a podcast about female punk rock singers and it gets you to thinking about what sort of lists there are of singers out there on the intertubes.  You hit the google running and land on this gem:  a FREE 325 track female-fronted punk rock international anthology.  I have not even begun to make a dent in this list, they are all waiting patiently for my next thirteen or so trips to the gym.  Actually knowing those ladies, probably not too patently.  

A Reference Of Female-Fronted Punk Rock: 1977-89

As the title indicates, this is a homemade 12 x CD-R (!) compilation of punk bands fronted by female vocalists from 1977 to 1989.

More like a giant mixtape than a compilation, as only 36 copies were made. You may notice that some of the bands didn’t have a steady female vocalist (The Lewd, etc.) but he still included songs that were sung by another member of the band. This is as international as it gets, with stuff ranging from world famous Blondie or Crass to the most obscure Eastern European cassette compilation veterans.

Spend your fall/winter discovering your favorites.

DISC 1: Download link

1. Blutsturz – Schweigen (Demo) (Germany, 198?)
2. Penetration – Money Talks (England, 1977)
3. Pyhäkoulu – Painajainen (Finland, 1986)
4. VulpeSS – Me Gusta Ser Una Zorra (Spain, 1983)
5. The Comes – Panic (Japan, 1984)
6. Suicide Squad – New Kids Army (Australia, 1980)
7. Rivolta Dell’Odio – Altari Del Terrore (Italy, 1984)
8. Sick Things – Anti-Social Disease (England, 1977)
9. Accident (a.k.a Accidents) – True Detective (USA, 1979)
10. Dishrags – I Don’t Love You (Canada, 1979)
11. Último Resorte – Hogar, Dulce Hogar (Demo) (Spain, 1981)
12. The Fastbacks – Someone Else’s Room (USA, 1981)
13. Anorexia – Rapist In The Park (England, 1980)
14. Phobia – Pretend You’re Not Crazy (USA, 1978)
15. Androids Of Mu – Bored Housewives (England, 1981)
16. Sort Sol (With Lydia Lunch) – Boy-Girl (Denmark/USA, 1983)
17. Tappi Tikarrass – Skrid (Iceland, 1984)
18. Flowers – After Dark (Scotland, 1979)
19. The Rentals – I Got A Crush On You (USA, 1979)
20. Pariapunk – Double Face (France, 1987)
21. Amsterdamned – Traditie Amme Balle (Netherlands, 1982)
22. Dr. Zeke – Vild I Skogen (Sweden, 1979)
23. The Lewd – Magnetic Heart (USA, 1982)
24. Au Pairs – Kerb Crawler (England, 1980)
25. Mo-Dettes – White Mice (USA/Switzerland/England, 1979)
26. Stripes – Weekend Love (Germany, 1980)
27. Violators – The Fugitive (England, 1980)

DISC 2: Download link

1. Schund – Schund (Austria, 1982)
2. Wunderbach – Raya (France, 1982)
3. Total Muzak – Någonstans I Sta’n (Sweden, 1980)
4. Liliput – Hitch-Hike (Switzerland, 1980)
5. NJF – Sitting!! Pretty (Canada, 1984)
6. S.I.B. – Listless (Italy, 1981)
7. Manisch Depressiv – Zeitmaschine 1 (Switzerland, 1983)
8. Sheena & The Rokkets – Omae Ga Hoshii (One More Time) (Japan, 1979)
9. Rezillos – Flying Saucer Attack (Scotland, 1978)
10. Sado-Nation – Messed Up Mixed Up (USA, 1982)
11. Lucrate Milk – Fucking Pacifist (France, 1983)
12. Dan – Lust Is Greed (England, 1987)
13. Nasty Facts – Drive My Car (USA, 1981)
14. Life Cycle – Indifference (Wales, 1988)
15. Livin’ Sacrifice – Mentalsjuk (Sweden, 1981)
16. The Brat – Attitudes (USA, 1980)
17. Non Band – Ducan Dancin’ (Japan, 1982)
18. Bizkids – VIPs (Netherlands, 1980)
19. Minus Cway – Gdje Me Vjetar Odnese (Yugolsavia, 1982-88)
20. The Rats – Broken Wire Telephone (USA, 1983)
21. Anouschka & Les Privés – Contrôle (France, 1980)
22. Slits – Vindictive (England, 1977)
23. ICA – Untitled (Netherlands, 1981)
24. Trash – Peace Of What (USA, 1984)
25. Boys Boys – Monley Monkey (Japan, 1980)
26. Honey Bane – Girl On The Run (England, 1979)
27. TNT – Razzia (Switzerland, 1981)
28. Nuns – Wild (USA, 1980)
29. Electric Deads – 30 Years (Denmark, 1982)
30. Conflict – Who Will (USA, 1984)
31. Atims – Women (Netherlands, 1982)

DISC 3: Download link

1. Hans-A-Plast – Polizeiknüppel (Germany, 1979)
2. Usch – LTO (Sweden, 1979)
3. Desechables – El Asesino (Spain, 1984)
4. Ici Paris – Le Centre Du Monde (France, 1980)
5. Action Pact – Suicide Bag (England, 1982)
6. Invaders – Backstreet Romeo (England, 1980)
7. Lepers – Flipout (USA, 1979)
8. Franti – Vento Rosso (Italy, 1983)
9. Out On Blue 6 – Examples (England, 1981)
10. Mr. Kite – Exit B9 (Japan, 1978)
11. De Zweetkutten – Atoomgeweld (Netherlands, 1981)
12. Ideal – Berlin (Germany, 1980)
13. Holly And The Italians – I Wanna Go Home (USA, 1981)
14. Modesty – Kad Srce Radi Bi Bam (Yugoslavia, 1982-88)
15. Delta 5 – Anticipation (England, 1980)
16. Beex – He Obliterates Me (USA, 1981)
17. Kaltwetterfront – Revolverheld (Germany, 1982)
18. Hydra – Ombre (Italy, 1985)
19. Vacum – Är Ungdomar Människor? (Sweden, 1980)
20. Nixe – Man Under My Bed (Netherlands, 1981)
21. Alternative – Seen Through Tear-Filled Eyes (Scotland, 1984)
22. Schematix – Nothing Special (USA, 1980)
23. Eyes – Don’t Talk To Me (USA, 1978)
24. Russians – Anything She Wants (England, 1980)
25. Kontrola W. – Manekiny (Poland, 1982/1998)

DISC 4: Download link

1. Kizza Ping – Den Nya (Sweden, 1982)
2. Strapaze – Tage (Germany, 1983)
3. Glueams – 365 (Switzerland, 1979)
4. Kleenex Aktiv – Hilfe (Germany, 1985)
5. XL Capris – My City Of Sydney (Australia, 1980)
6. Josie Cotton – Johnny, Are You Queer? (USA, 1981)
7. Rakketax – Van Agt (Netherlands, 1980)
8. A-Heads – No Rule (England, 1982)
9. Drustvo Prisjecavalaca Boljih Dana – Sexualna Ovisnost (Yugoslavia, 1982-88)
10. Pink Champagne – Söndagsskolehyckel (Sweden, 1980)
11. Curse – Killer Bees (Canada, 1978)
12. Flirt – Don’t Push Me (USA, 1978)
13. Mizutama Shouboudan – Shinkuu Pakku Toraberu (Japan, 1981)
14. Bizon Kidz – Godsdienstwaanzin (Netherlands, 1981)
15. X-Ray Spex – I Live Off You (England, 1978)
16. Reactors – World War Four (USA, 1980)
17. Klasse Kriminale – Construito In Italia (Italy, 1988)
18. Debils – Maso (Switzerland, 1981)
19. Plastix – Geschlechtsverkehr (Austria, 1981)
20. Avengers – Teenage Rebel (USA, 1978)
21. Hagar The Womb – Idolization (England, 1983)
22. Blitzkrieg – Szene (Germany, 1989)
23. DIRT – Hiroshima (England, 1981)
24. Disturbers – KZ Syndroom (Netherlands, 1980)
25. Andreas Dorau Und Die Marinas – Fred Vom Jupiter (Germany, 1981)
26. Pandoras – That’s Your Way Out (USA, 1984)
27. Lost Cherrees – Living In A Coffin (England, 1982)
28. Learned Helplessness – Vegis (USA, 1982)
29. A-Gen-53 – Stalingrad-Stumpfsinn (Austria, 1981)

A Reference Of Female-Fronted Punk Rock: 1977-89 (Part 2)

DISC 5: Download link

1. Crass – Where Next Columbus? (England, 1981)
2. A.P.P.L.E. – If In Heaven (USA, 1985)
3. Sleeping Dogs – (I Got My Tan In) El Salvador (USA/England, 1982)
4. Asbest – Family Care (Netherlands, 1982)
5. FFF – Arbeit Macht Dumm (Germany, 1986)
6. Gas – World Peace (Japan, 1985)
7. Les Calamités – Toutes Les Nuits (France, 1984)
8. Mother’s Ruin – Godzilla (Switzerland, 1979)
9. Toxic Waste – Traditionally Yours (Northern Ireland, 1985)
10. The Ex – Lied Der Steinklopfer (Netherlands, 1989)
11. NBJ – Dead Porker (USA, 1982)
12. Doll – Trash (England, 1978)
13. ST-37 – Unknown Soldier (Germany, 1985)
14. Jetset – Tot Hier En Niet Verder (Netherlands, 1982)
15. Fega Påhopp – Hålla Masken (Sweden, 1980)
16. Alma Y Los Cadáveres – Confidencias de Nutrexpa (Spain, 1982)
17. Da Stupids – Alien (USA, 198?)
18. Essential Logic – Quality Crayon Wax OK (England, 1979)
19. Beardsley – Summer Holiday (Japan, 1986)
20. Lärm – Pigeon (Netherlands, 1982)
21. Fatal Microbes – Violence Grows (England, 1978)
22. Sin 34 – Not (USA, 1983)
23. Vice Squad – Latex Love (England, 1980)
24. Lord Eva Braun – Week-End à Blois (France, 1989)
25. Ätztussis – Bullen (Germany, 1980)
26. Falange – Falange Suburbana (Brazil, 1988)
27. Bags – Survive (USA, 1978)

DISC 6: Download link

1. Conflict – The Guilt And The Glory (England, 1982)
2. Putrid Girls – 1234 (USA, 1983)
3. Nog Watt – Going On (Netherlands, 1984)
4. Suburban Reptiles – 45 Single (New Zealand, 1978)
5. Lost Kids – Alle Taler (Denmark, 1979)
6. Edith Nylon – Edith Nylon (France, 1979)
7. Expelled – No Life, No Future (England, 1982)
8. Tollwut – Seuchen (Germany, 1981)
9. Blondie – Youth Nabbed As Sniper (USA, 1977)
10. Wartburgs Für Walter – More More Anymore (East Germany, 1989)
11. Ref – Soda Bikarbona (Yugoslavia, 1982-86)
12. Chumbawamba – beginning To Take It Back (England, 1986)
13. Mizz Nobody – Smittad (Sweden, 1978)
14. Platzangst – It’s A Light (Germany, 1983)
15. The Pogues – I’m A Man You Don’t Meet Every Day (Ireland, 1985)
16. St. Vitus Dancers – The Survivor (England, 1982)
17. Mary Monday & The Bitches – I Gave My Punk Jacket To Rickie (USA, 1977)
18. DZK – Juventude (Brazil, 1988)
19. Cocadictos – Juan Pablo II Y Amigos (Spain, 1983-84)
20. K.U.K.L. – Dismembered (Iceland, 1984)
21. Petticoats – Allergy (England, 1980)
22. Kalashnikov – Ødelæg Og Hærg (Denmark, 1984)
23. No Thanks – Fuck Everything (USA, 1983)
24. Indirekt – Shell Helpt (Netherlands, 1985)
25. Namenlos – Nazis (East Germany, 1984)
26. UXA – No Time (USA, 1980)
27. Peggy Luxbeurk – Sueur Froide (France, 1982)
28. Flere Døde Pansere – Midedød (Denmark, 1983)

DISC 7: Download link

1. Toxic Shock – Remote Control (England, 1984)
2. Toxic Shock – Riot Riot Riot (USA, 1982)
3. Zelda – [Japanese Title] (Japan, 1981)
4. Total Chaoz – Oh Beatrix (Netherlands, 1981)
5. ZOI – Psaulme 1 (France, 1986)
6. Tozibabe – Moja Praznina (Yugoslavia, 1985)
7. Xmal Deutschland – Qual (Germany, 1983)
8. Ghost Walks – Fallen Angel (USA, 1985)
9. Life In The Fridge Exists – Have You Checked The Children? (New Zealand, 1980)
10. X – Nausea (USA, 1980)
11. Sacrilege – Dig Your Own Grave (England, 1985)
12. Combat Not Conform – Keep Your Head (Germany, 1985)
13. Typhus – [Japanese Title] (Japan, 1980)
14. Foreign Legion – Trenchline (Wales, 1986)
15. Rough Cut – Danger Boy (USA, 1981)
16. Ludus – Mother’s Hour (England, 1981)
17. The Bastards – Impossibilities (Switzerland, 1978)
18. Rutto – Paha, Kuolema (Finland, 1983)
19. Nikki Corvette – Young & Crazy (USA, 1977)
20. Photos – Skateboard (England, 1980)
21. Last Few – Suicide Commando (Netherlands, 1983)
22. Tyranna – Back Off Baby (Canada, 1980)
23. Screaming Sneakers – Violent Days (USA, 1982)
24. Poison Girls – Statement (Englmand, 1982)
25. Verdun – Günther (France, 1988)
26. Noh Mercy – Caucasian Guilt (USA, 1979)
27. Bow Wow Wow – C30, C60, C90, Go (England, 1980)
28. Götterflies – Empty (Netherlands, 1981)

DISC 8: Download link

1. Post Mortem – The Casualty (England, 1985)
2. Antischism – Evil God (demo) (USA, 1989)
3. Wrong Kind Of Stone Age – Run Amok (Australia, 1984)
4. The Puke – Happy Family (Netherlands, 1981)
5. Teddy & The Frat Girls – Clubnite (USA, 1980)
6. Questions – Take A Ride (France, 1980)
7. 無理心中 [Muri Shinjuu] – Shikyuu (Japan, 1980-82)
8. Rubella Ballet – Something To Give (England, 1982)
9. Die Tödliche Doris – Kavaliere (Germany, 1982)
10. Los Microwaves – Time To Get Up (USA, 1981)
11. Extrém Exém – Eget Liv (Sweden, 1982)
12. Icon A.D. – Fight For Peace (England, 1982)
13. Dago Wops – Big Mac (Germany, 1981)
14. 8-Eyed Spy – Diddy Wah Diddy (USA, 1980)
15. Indian Dream – Insult To Injury (England, 1985)
16. Destroy All Monsters – Bored (USA, 1978)
17. Bluttat – Flying Into Heaven’s Door (Germany, 1985)
18. Raincoats – Adventures Close To Home (England, 1979)
19. Afrika Korps – Buzz Stomp (USA, 1977)
20. M’n'M’s – I’m Tired (USA, 1980)
21. キャ→ [Kyah!] – Slapdash (Japan, 1985)
22. Teenage Jesus & The Jerks – Less Of Me (USA, 1978)
23. Dog Faced Hermans – Balloon Girl (Scotland/Netherlands, 1987)
24. Mydolls – Soldiers Of A Pure War (USA, 1983)
25. Gash – Gash Trash (Australia, 1986)

A Reference Of Female-Fronted Punk Rock: 1977-89 (Part 3)

DISC 9: Download link

1. Berlin – The Metro (USA, 1982)
2. Poles – C.N. Tower (Canada, 1977)
3. Kuolleet Kukat – Vihollinen On Systeemi (Finland, 1984)
4. Joyce McKinney Experience – Armchair Critic (England, 1989)
5. VKTMS – Hard Case (USA, 1979)
6. ゴメス [Gomess] – 地獄へ (Japan, 1986)
7. Charol – Sin Dinero (Spain, 1980)
8. Tragics (a.k.a Misfits) – Mommi I’m A Misfit (USA, 1981)
9. Kandeggina Gang – Sono Cattiva (Italy, 1980)
10. Jingo De Lunch – What You See (Germany, 1987)
11. Vermilion – Angry Young Women (England, 1978)
12. The Maggots – (Let’s Get, Let’s Get) Tammy Wynette (USA, 1979)
13. Brain Death – Personal Affair (Japan, 1987)
14. Squits – Porno Pirate (Netherlands, 1982)
15. Siouxsie And The Banshees – The Staircase (Mystery) (England, 1979)
16. Unwarranted Trust – Honour’s Calling (Canada, 1984)
17. Bulimia Banquet – Scientology Sucks (USA, 1988)
18. Nurse – ナ－ス (Japan, 1983)
19. Secta Suicida Siglo 20 – Virginidad Sacudida (Mexico, 1989)
20. Castration Squad – The X Girlfriend (USA, 1979)
21. Jo Squillo Eletrix – Skizzo Skizzo (Italy, 1981)
22. A5 – Reeperbahn (Germany, 1980)
23. Manufactured Romance – You (England, 1980)
24. Frigidettes – Turmoil (USA, 1982)
25. Capitalist Alienation – Nuclear Trash (Canada, 1987)
26. Sperma – Please Love Me Tonight (Japan, 1985)
27. Mystery Girls – Ego (USA, 1983)
28. Exeroica – Del Apocalipsis (Argentina, 1988)
29. Partners In Crime – I Wanna Drive You (USA, 1984)
30. Dawn Patrol – What My Gonna Do (With Me) (England, 1981)
31. Maps – My Eyes Are Burning (USA, 1979)

DISC 10: Download link

1. Neo Boys – Never Comes Down (USA, 1980)
2. New Walls – No Creation!? (Japan, 1985)
3. Gymslips – Miss Nunsweeta (England, 1982)
4. Loud Warning – Loud Warning (Netherlands, 1986)
5. Vs. – Magnetic Hearts (USA, 1980)
6. Turncoats – Waste Of Time (England, 1987)
7. Agonia – [Unknown title] (Italy, 1985)
8. Demented – Back To The Bed (USA, 1982)
9. PVC – Galehus (Norway, 1980)
10. Girls At Our Best! – Warm Girls (England, 1980)
11. Wilma & The Wilbers – Chronic Alkie (USA, 1980)
12. Cringe – Secretary Spread (USA, 1981)
13. Detectors – La Ciutat No Es Per Mi (Spain, 1987)
14. Suburban Lawns – Gidget Goes To Hell (USA, 1979)
15. Red Scare – Streetlife (USA, 1982)
16. Sofa Head – Invitation To Dinner (England, 1989)
17. 45 Grave – Black Cross (USA, 1980)
18. Plasmatics – Dream Lover (USA, 1979)
19. Not Moving – Behind Your Pale Face (Italy, 1983)
20. Enemy – Want Me (USA, 1978)
21. Potential Threat – Animal Abuse (England, 1982)
22. Anti-Scrunti Faction – Slave To My Estrogen (USA, 1985)
23. Legal Weapon – Hostility (USA, 1981)
24. OXZ – Be Run Down (Japan, 1984)
25. Shivvers – Teen Line (USA, 1980)
26. Donkeys – Wacky Acky I Aye (England, 1978-82)
27. Wrecks – Punk Is An Attitude (USA, 1982)
28. La Souris Déglinguée – Marie France (France, 1983)
29. SST – Autistic (USA, 1977)
30. Anti/Dogmatikss – Estado De Caos (demo) (Spain, 1983)

DISC 11: Download link

1. Abwärts – Bel Ami (Germany, 1980)
2. Even Worse – Illusion Won Again (USA, 1981)
3. F.U.A.L. – Freedom Under Animal Liberation (Northern Ireland, 1989)
4. Nena – Nur Geträumt (Germany, 1983)
5. Gruftrosen – Mörder Von Gestern (Austria, 1985)
6. Sledgehammer – Paramilitary Recruits (Northern Ireland, 1988-ish)
7. Deutscher Abschaum – The German Superman (Germany, 1984)
8. Family Fodder – Debbie Harry (England, 1980)
9. Pink Turds In Space – Eastenders (Northern Ireland, 1988)
10. Die Mimmi’s – Mc Donald (Germany, 1984)
11. No-Song Kutkotz – Telegram (Netherlands, 1984)
12. Ratos De Porão – Nao Me Importo (live) (Brazil, 1985)
13. Martina + Part Time Punx – Mehr Von Dir (Germany, 1987)
14. Frightwig – Only You (USA, 1984)
15. Big In Japan – Big In Japan (England, 1977)
16. Bärchen Und Die Milchbubis – Jung Kaputt Spart Alterscheime (Germany, 1980)
17. Mood Of Defiance – American Love Song (USA, 1983)
18. Virgin Rocks – Get Along With You (Japan, 1987)
19. Ana Hausen – Professionals (England, 1981)
20. Métal Boys – New Malden (France, 1980)
21. Red Cross – Standing In Front Of Poseur (USA, 1980)
22. Dolly Mixture – Been Teen (England, 1981)
23. Morbid Opera – White Flag (USA, 1983)
24. Chin-Chin – We Don’t Wanna Be Prisoners (Switzerland, 1984)
25. Lovedolls – Now That I’ve Tasted Blood (USA, 1986)
26. Compos Mentis – Confused (New Zealand, 1985-ish)
27. Hysteria – Silent Hate (England, 1984)

DISC 12: Download link

1. Pervers – Asozial (Germany, 1984)
2. Hugh Beaumont Experience – Moo (USA, 1983)
3. Inocentes with Meire – Ri Dos Hippies (Brazil, 1984)
4. Ruggedy Annes – Hollow Heroes (Canada, 1985)
5. Blowdriers – Berkeley Farms (USA, 1979)
6. Rap – Accident (Japan, 1985)
7. Decadent – Opposition Proposition (USA, 1982)
8. Warriors – Born To Ride (Japan, 1987)
9. Bambix – Little Miss Sunshine (Netherlands, 1989)
10. Super Heroines – Death On The Elevator (USA, 1981)
11. Cherry Vanilla – The Punk (England, 1977)
12. Hari-Kari – Prey For Peace (USA, 1983)
13. Kleenex – Ü (Switzerland, 1979)
14. Chute De Esperma – No Keremos (Spain, 1984)
15. Revo – Fuck The School (Netherlands, 1980)
16. The Fall – Hotel Blôedel (England, 1983)
17. Der Riß – Images (Germany, 1985)

via Kängnäve: A Reference Of Female-Fronted Punk Rock: 1977-89 (Part 1).

via Kängnäve: A Reference Of Female-Fronted Punk Rock: 1977-89 (Part 2).

via Kängnäve: A Reference Of Female-Fronted Punk Rock: 1977-89 (Part 3).

Jesus Wants You To Know

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This message goes out to all the people using the Bible as a weapon against their own personal fears; to the all the people teaching their children to sings hateful song about things they are too young to understand; to all the evil priests that rape children and the cowardly priests that protect them, to all the under-educated mothers that home school their children to insure that they never get any smarter then them; to all the “christians” that picket military funerals for their own agenda; to all the people that quote words in a book as justification for not liking people as a way to not have to make their own decisions; and to all the thieves, liars, murderers, and bullies that use other people’s need of a higher power to advance their own personal greed.

You are not Christians, as you are not christ-like.  You are a bastardization, a mutation, a cultification.  A watered-down, highly edited, Cliff’s Notes, Game of Telephone, copy of a copy of a copy, of something that was probably pretty good.  Your hatred and buffet-style approach to the Bible only fuels your need for righteous judgement of others.  You are worse than someone that has no formed religious beliefs.

“I never said that.  I don’t know those people.” – Jesus

Vandals target Seattle church on Easter

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Vandals target Seattle church on Easter | www.kirotv.com.

SEATTLE — Messages were found spray-painted on St. James Cathedral in Seattle on Easter Sunday morning.
According to church officials, the incident happened between late Saturday evening and early Sunday morning.
Over a dozen messages were written on the church.
Back in March, anti-Catholic messages were stenciled at St. James Cathedral.
As of Sunday afternoon, crews were still cleaning up the graffiti.
Police are still investigating the incident and no one has been taken into custody.
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“A Telephone Call”

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“A Telephone Call”
by Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

PLEASE, God, let him telephone me now. Dear God, let him call me now. I won’t ask anything else of You, truly I won’t. It isn’t very much to ask. It would be so little to You, God, such a little, little thing. Only let him telephone now. Please, God. Please, please, please.

If I didn’t think about it, maybe the telephone might ring. Sometimes it does that. If I could think of something else. If I could think of something else. Knobby if I counted five hundred by fives, it might ring by that time. I’ll count slowly. I won’t cheat. And if it rings when I get to three hundred, I won’t stop; I won’t answer it until I get to five hundred. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five, forty, forty-five, fifty…. Oh, please ring. Please.

This is the last time I’ll look at the clock. I will not look at it again. It’s ten minutes past seven. He said he would telephone at five o’clock. “I’ll call you at five, darling.” I think that’s where he said “darling.” I’m almost sure he said it there. I know he called me “darling” twice, and the other time was when he said good-by. “Good-by, darling.” He was busy, and he can’t say much in the office, but he called me “darling” twice. He couldn’t have minded my calling him up. I know you shouldn’t keep telephoning them–I know they don’t like that. When you do that they know you are thinking about them and wanting them, and that makes them hate you. But I hadn’t talked to him in three days-not in three days. And all I did was ask him how he was; it was just the way anybody might have called him up. He couldn’t have minded that. He couldn’t have thought I was bothering him. “No, of course you’re not,” he said. And he said he’d telephone me. He didn’t have to say that. I didn’t ask him to, truly I didn’t. I’m sure I didn’t. I don’t think he would say he’d telephone me, and then just never do it. Please don’t let him do that, God. Please don’t.

“I’ll call you at five, darling.” “Good-by, darling.,’ He was busy, and he was in a hurry, and there were people around him, but he called me “darling” twice. That’s mine, that’s mine. I have that, even if I never see him again. Oh, but that’s so little. That isn’t enough. Nothing’s enough, if I never see him again. Please let me see him again, God. Please, I want him so much. I want him so much. I’ll be good, God. I will try to be better, I will, If you will let me see him again. If You will let him telephone me. Oh, let him telephone me now.

Ah, don’t let my prayer seem too little to You, God. You sit up there, so white and old, with all the angels about You and the stars slipping by. And I come to You with a prayer about a telephone call. Ah, don’t laugh, God. You see, You don’t know how it feels. You’re so safe, there on Your throne, with the blue swirling under You. Nothing can touch You; no one can twist Your heart in his hands. This is suffering, God, this is bad, bad suffering. Won’t You help me? For Your Son’s sake, help me. You said You would do whatever was asked of You in His name. Oh, God, in the name of Thine only beloved Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord, let him telephone me now.

I must stop this. I mustn’t be this way. Look. Suppose a young man says he’ll call a girl up, and then something happens, and he doesn’t. That isn’t so terrible, is it? Why, it’s gong on all over the world, right this minute. Oh, what do I care what’s going on all over the world? Why can’t that telephone ring? Why can’t it, why can’t it? Couldn’t you ring? Ah, please, couldn’t you? You damned, ugly, shiny thing. It would hurt you to ring, wouldn’t it? Oh, that would hurt you. Damn you, I’ll pull your filthy roots out of the wall, I’ll smash your smug black face in little bits. Damn you to hell.

No, no, no. I must stop. I must think about something else. This is what I’ll do. I’ll put the clock in the other room. Then I can’t look at it. If I do have to look at it, then I’ll have to walk into the bedroom, and that will be something to do. Maybe, before I look at it again, he will call me. I’ll be so sweet to him, if he calls me. If he says he can’t see me tonight, I’ll say, “Why, that’s all right, dear. Why, of course it’s all right.” I’ll be the way I was when I first met him. Then maybe he’ll like me again. I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.

I think he must still like me a little. He couldn’t have called me “darling” twice today, if he didn’t still like me a little. It isn’t all gone, if he still likes me a little; even if it’s only a little, little bit. You see, God, if You would just let him telephone me, I wouldn’t have to ask You anything more. I would be sweet to him, I would be gay, I would be just the way I used to be, and then he would love me again. And then I would never have to ask You for anything more. Don’t You see, God? So won’t You please let him telephone me? Won’t You please, please, please?

Are You punishing me, God, because I’ve been bad? Are You angry with me because I did that? Oh, but, God, there are so many bad people –You could not be hard only to me. And it wasn’t very bad; it couldn’t have been bad. We didn’t hurt anybody, God. Things are only bad when they hurt people. We didn’t hurt one single soul; You know that. You know it wasn’t bad, don’t You, God? So won’t You let him telephone me now?

If he doesn’t telephone me, I’ll know God is angry with me. I’ll count five hundred by fives, and if he hasn’t called me then, I will know God isn’t going to help me, ever again. That will be the sign. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five, forty, forty-five, fifty, fifty-five. . . It was bad. I knew it was bad. All right, God, send me to hell. You think You’re frightening me with Your hell, don’t You? You think. Your hell is worse than mine.

I mustn’t. I mustn’t do this. Suppose he’s a little late calling me up –that’s nothing to get hysterical about. Maybe he isn’t going to call–maybe he’s coming straight up here without telephoning. He’ll be cross if he sees I have been crying. They don’t like you to cry. He doesn’t cry. I wish to God I could make him cry. I wish I could make him cry and tread the floor and feel his heart heavy and big and festering in him. I wish I could hurt him like hell.

He doesn’t wish that about me. I don’t think he even knows how he makes me feel. I wish he could know, without my telling him. They don’t like you to tell them they’ve made you cry. They don’t like you to tell them you’re unhappy because of them. If you do, they think you’re possessive and exacting. And then they hate you. They hate you whenever you say anything you really think. You always have to keep playing little games. Oh, I thought we didn’t have to; I thought this was so big I could say whatever I meant. I guess you can’t, ever. I guess there isn’t ever anything big enough for that. Oh, if he would just telephone, I wouldn’t tell him I had been sad about him. They hate sad people. I would be so sweet and so gay, he couldn’t help but like me. If he would only telephone. If he would only telephone.

Maybe that’s what he is doing. Maybe he is coming on here without calling me up. Maybe he’s on his way now. Something might have happened to him. No, nothing could ever happen to him. I can’t picture anything happening to him. I never picture him run over. I never see him lying still and long and dead. I wish he were dead. That’s a terrible wish. That’s a lovely wish. If he were dead, he would be mine. If he were dead, I would never think of now and the last few weeks. I would remember only the lovely times. It would be all beautiful. I wish he were dead. I wish he were dead, dead, dead.

This is silly. It’s silly to go wishing people were dead just because they don’t call you up the very minute they said they would. Maybe the clock’s fast; I don’t know whether it’s right. Maybe he’s hardly late at all. Anything could have made him a little late. Maybe he had to stay at his office. Maybe he went home, to call me up from there, and somebody came in. He doesn’t like to telephone me in front of people. Maybe he’s worried, just alittle, little bit, about keeping me waiting. He might even hope that I would call him up. I could do that. I could telephone him.

I mustn’t. I mustn’t, I mustn’t. Oh, God, please don’t let me telephone him. Please keep me from doing that. I know, God, just as well as You do, that if he were worried about me, he’d telephone no matter where he was or how many people there were around him. Please make me know that, God. I don’t ask YOU to make it easy for me–You can’t do that, for all that You could make a world. Only let me know it, God. Don’t let me go on hoping. Don’t let me say comforting things to myself. Please don’t let me hope, dear God. Please don’t.

I won’t telephone him. I’ll never telephone him again as long as I live. He’ll rot in hell, before I’ll call him up. You don’t have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I ram. He knows I’m waiting here. He’s so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you. I should think it would be so sweet to be sure.

It would be so easy to telephone him. Then I’d know. Maybe it wouldn’t be a foolish thing to do. Maybe he wouldn’t mind. Maybe he’d like it. Maybe he has been trying to get me. Sometimes people try and try to get you on the telephone, and they say the number doesn’t answer. I’m not just saying that to help myself; that really happens. You know that really happens, God. Oh, God, keep me away from that telephone. Kcep me away. Let me still have just a little bit of pride. I think I’m going to need it, God. I think it will be all I’ll have.

Oh, what does pride matter, when I can’t stand it if I don’t talk to him? Pride like that is such a silly, shabby little thing. The real pride, the big pride, is in having no pride. I’m not saying that just because I want to call him. I am not. That’s true, I know that’s true. I will be big. I will be beyond little prides.

Please, God, keep me from, telephoning him. Please, God.

I don’t see what pride has to do with it. This is such a little thing, for me to be bringing in pride, for me to be making such a fuss about. I may have misunderstood him. Maybe he said for me to call him up, at five. “Call me at five, darling.” He could have said that, perfectly well. It’s so possible that I didn’t hear him right. “Call me at five, darling.” I’m almost sure that’s what he said. God, don’t let me talk this way to myself. Make me know, please make me know.

I’ll think about something else. I’ll just sit quietly. If I could sit still. If I could sit still. Maybe I could read. Oh, all the books are about people who love each other, truly and sweetly. What do they want to write about that for? Don’t they know it isn’t tree? Don’t they know it’s a lie, it’s a God damned lie? What do they have to tell about that for, when they know how it hurts? Damn them, damn them, damn them.

I won’t. I’ll be quiet. This is nothing to get excited about. Look. Suppose he were someone I didn’t know very well. Suppose he were another girl. Then I d just telephone and say, “Well, for goodness’ sake, what happened to you?” That’s what I’d do, and I’d never even think about it. Why can’t I be casual and natural, just because I love him? I can be. Honestly, I can be. I’ll call him up, and be so easy and pleasant. You see if I won’t, God. Oh, don’t let me call him. Don’t, don’t, don’t.

God, aren’t You really going to let him call me? Are You sure, God? Couldn’t You please relent? Couldn’t You? I don’t even ask You to let him telephone me this minute, God; only let him do it in a little while. I’ll count five hundred by fives. I’ll do it so slowly and so fairly. If he hasn’t telephoned then, I’ll call him. I will. Oh, please, dear God, dear kind God, my blessed Father in Heaven, let him call before then. Please, God. Please.

Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twentyfive, thirty, thirty-five.

She floats like a swan: grace on the water.

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Twenty-Four Lies and One Truth. You Figure It Out.

1. When my family lived in Mexico in the early 1980′s, my mother hit and killed an old man with her car and just rolled his body into a ditch and covered him with a tree branch. We never heard a thing about it.

2. I have a 19 year old daughter, the product of a one-night-stand the summer after my senior year in high school. She tracked me down six months ago when she needed to know my medical history because she was diagnosed with Leukemia.

3. I tell everyone that my family came to this country in the 1920′s, but they really have been here since the early 1800′s and owned a fleet of ships used for transporting slaves from Africa to the US.

4. I speak Russian fluently because my father would not talk on the phone in English for fear of it being tapped.

5. I have only one testicle.

6. I didn’t learn how to tie my shoes until I was 14 years old due to a broken arm and a lack of detailed use of my left index finger and thumb.

7. I secretly wish I would have been more serious about it when I was a magician’s assistant.

8. I have a scrapbook full of lost pet fliers that I have taken off of telephone poles all over the city.

9. I use Facebook to get laid.

10. I am a mindless android, I have no opinions.

11. I have had three nose jobs and I am still not satisfied.

12. When I was 12 years old, my mother requested that we call her by her first name in public so no one would know she was old enough to be our mother.

13. Since my parents divorced when I was 12, I have habitually shoplifted candy bars from small convenience stores. I almost never eat it unless I am really hungry.

14. At different times and for different reasons, I have been temporarily blind and temporarily deaf.

15. I have spent considerable money and traveled considerable distances to see every Modanna concert.

16. If I do not go to Disney World at least once every two years, I feel a bit lost.

17. I am distantly related to one US President and one serial murderer.

18. I have a natural inclination to science. It was my favorite subject in school and I considered getting a biology degree in college.

19. My family was one of the last to obtain an escape pod when our dying planet burst into flames.

20. Jesus is my savior.

21. In my mid 20′s, I had two serious boyfriends at the same time that did not know of each other.

22. In junior high and high school, I was on the US Junior Olympics Cross Country Ski Team. The highest I ever placed is Silver in 1986.

23. The name I had growing up was Christopher Scott Martin, I changed it when I was 18.

24. My babysitter showed my sister and me “Jaws” when we were kids and ever since then, I have been deathly afraid of all bodies of water.

25. I have waited in line for every Harry Potter book to be released and read them as fast as I could because I was afraid I would hear what happened from someone else on the Harry Potter LISTSERVE I subscribe to.