Rear View Mirror – My Week In Review

This week, I joined three Facebook Groups and started one:

The Port Orchard group consists mostly of people asking questions that a Google search could easily answer: Anyone know of an urgent care near by? (must not be that urgent if you can wait for Facebook replies). They also seem to be endlessly curious about car accidents, why various aid cars are at specific locations, and catching these two women that stole things from a place called Pet Town. Overall, being a part of the group has not made me feel any nostalgia for my home town or enriched my life in any way. It has made me very conscious of the time I spend on Facebook and evaluate if it brings any value.

The Columbia City group is a lot of complaining. Complaining about bad parking, complaining about vandalism (my assumption is that the vandals are not members of the group), complaining about someone stealing a ladder. There is no added value to my life being member of this group, but I will wait to leave the group because next weekend is SeaFair, and it’s gonna get real messy down here. A lot of people come down to see the hydroplane races and park all over the place. The posts could get interesting.

The Bent Car Guys group seemed like a potentially fun one to join, they seem to post a lot of photos of cars from car shows and ones they see around the city. I thought that maybe at some time, I could post a photo of the extra set of rims I have and see if I could sell them. They post a lot of photos of old crappy cars. I will remain a member, it could just be an off week.

As I troll through the groups I have become members of, I am reminded of that very famous quote of Groucho Marx’s:

“I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON’T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER.”
– Telegram to the Friar’s Club of Beverly Hills to which he belonged, as recounted in Groucho and Me (1959)

This week, on Waldina, I celebrated the birthdays of Aldous Huxley, Stanley Kubrick, Vivian Vance, Maxfield Parrish, Amelia Earhart, Zelda Fitzgerald, Sandra Gould, Raymond Chandler, Alexander Calder, Edward Hopper, Oscar de la Renta and Ernest Hemingway.

The Stats:

Views This Week: 818
Total Views: 119,197
Total Subscribers: 319
Most Popular Post: Banned Books That Shaped America: Catch-22

Over on Wasp & Pear on Tumblr, I posted photos of abandoned shopping malls, beautiful drawing of the world’s subway maps, some new uses for duct tape, the art of Banksy, George Condo, Frank Stella, Keith Haring and Ricardo Romero Cortez Duque.

The Stats:

Posts This Week: 47
Total Posts: 2,643
Total Subscribers: 187
Most Popular Post: Happy Birthday Edward Hopper.

This week over on @TheRealSpa on Twitter, I tweeted:

 

 

The Stats:

Total Tweets: 307 (auto-deleted tweets older than 31 days to preserve freshness)
Total Following: 258
Total Following: 193

come find me, i’m @:

I chronicle what inspires me at Waldina.com
I faceplace at facebook.com/parkeranderson
I have created a Facebook blog group at facebook.com/groups/blogpostfeed/
I store my selfies at instagram.com/therealspa#
I tumblr at waspandpear.tumblr.com/
I tweet at twitter.com/TheRealSPA
I Google+ at plus.google.com/u/0/+SPAghettiBatman

Rear View Mirror – My Week In Review

Last night, I had a dream where my teeth were falling out repeatedly. I know that this is a common theme, but I could not remember what this dream was supposed to symbolize. As everyone probably knows, I believe in basically nothing, I believe in fortune cookies more than I do in Karma, dreams, or any white-bearded sky god. I think that people cling to explanations because the alternative is that bad things happen to good people, nothing makes sense, and organic randomness really does suck sometimes. Shit happens for no reason. I could go on and on, just follow fake god and fake jesus on twitter and they do it better. Back to teeth. So, if I appear toothless in a dream, it is supposed to signify my inability to reach my goals and advance toward my interests. Dreams of teeth falling out are rooted in fear of impotence. I can see how they can draw on that, loss of bite, loss of power. But, if I think about it, my teeth are a bit sore from yesterday’s white strips, so there’s that.

Another dream I had last night was that I was asked to go to my old job so the manager could give me a review she forgot to complete. In the dream, it did not go well. For her. Giving someone a job review that has nothing to lose never goes well for the reviewer. I think that is why they have done away with exit interviews at most places and just hand out blank pieces of paper with instructions to list the people that suck. If anything, this dream is just more about consolidating memories and making space. It’s not resolution and/or closure. Those things don’t actually exist.

 

 

This week on Waldina, I celebrated a lot of birthdays: Marilyn Monroe, Christine Jorgensen, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Bob Hope, Dashiell Hammett, Isadora Duncan, Vincent Price, Dorothea Lange and Pam Grier.

The Stats:

Views This Week:  460
All Time Views:  114,558
Total Posts:  1,137
Total Subscribers:  307
Most Popular Post This WeekHappy Birthday Marilyn Monroe

This week on Wasp & Pear on Tumblr, I posted artwork by Patrick Nagel, Keith Haring, Andy Warhol, and Aleksandr Rodchenko; photographs of abandoned buildings; photographs of classic Hollywood, vintage Seattle, and New York City; profiles of trans people; some great quotes about climate change and fire arm control; pictures of abandoned places; profiles of people that made the world a better place; and the obituary of Bunny Yeager.

The Stats:

Posts This Week:  77
Total Posts:  2,352
New Subscribers This Week:  4
Total Subscribers:  176
Most Popular Post This Week:   The Car Park Theatre of Detroit

This week over at @TheRealSPA on Twitter, I changed my banner image to a retrospect of Keith Haring art, I tweeted the entire transcript to the 1968 film “Boom!” (well, a link to it, but I wish I knew how to do that), a photograph of YSL (my personal style icon), a photo of me in my new glasses, and well, it goes on and on like that.  But most notably (to me), I was retweeted by the Keith Haring Foundation.  I think it is really cool, it made my week!

The Stats:

Total Tweets:  332 (automatically deleted after 31 days to preserve freshness)
Total Followers:  153
Total Following:  206

This week @TheRealSPA on Instagram, I posted these:

The Stats:

Total Posts: 588
Followers: 119
Following: 123

come find me, i’m @:

I chronicle what inspires me at Waldina.com
I faceplace at facebook.com/parkeranderson
I store my selfies at instagram.com/therealspa#
I tumblr at waspandpear.tumblr.com/
I tweet at twitter.com/TheRealSPA

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Rear View Mirror – My Week In Review

Today is the birthdays of Keith Haring and Audrey Hepburn. I find them both exceptionally inspirational and know that I take bits and pieces of their lives as lessons on how to make myself better.

R worked late last night, so I drove to Issaquah and went to the gym, why Issaquah?  The gym I go to normally closes at 7:00pm on Saturdays and the Issaquah one is open until 10:00pm.  That was my Saturday night.  I do have to say that I did love driving around in the rain and listening to Sonic Reducer on KEXP.

Also, apparently when I am bored, I shop for tattoo artist/parlors for these new tattoos that I have in my head.  I figure I am not getting any younger and why not?  The next one is going to be words across my chest in some sort of fancy script.  It seems unexpected and out of character and that is what I am liking the most about it.  Mix it up.

This week on Waldina, I celebrated the birthdays of the industrious Dick Proeneke, the poetic Harper Lee, and the beautiful Bianca Jagger, I posted the Holstee Manifesto, I added one of Audrey Hepburn’s quotes to the Words To Live By series, I suggested A Place In The Sun to the Required Viewing film list, and I made my annual plea to please wear sunblock. A nice varied list.

The Stats:

Views This Week: 552
Total Views; 112,307
Total Subscribers: 291
Total Posts:1,099
Most Popular Post This Week: Banned Books That Shaped America: The Scarlet Letter

Over on Wasp & Pear on Tumblr I posted inspirational 70’s posters (and there are a lot more to come), a Cazwell video, vintage photos of Hollywood, New York City, and Seattle, and bad Chinese translations. I also posted a large series of vintage photographs of the Seattle Worlds Fair (the colors are incredible). There are of course abandoned places, there always will be. I found a series of photographs that show how much 200 calories of real food is, you would be surprised. I posted photographs of the art of Andy Warhol, Roy Lichtenstein, and Keith Haring.  This week, I also started following a friend of 30+ years:  Bee Lavender, as should you.

The Stats:

Posts This Week: 45
Total Posts: 2,184
New Subscribers This Week: 3
Total Subscribers: 169

This week at @TheRealSPA on Twitter, I started following KEXP’s Sonic Reducer show @kexppunkshow, Cazwell @CAZWELLnyc, filippo fiora the editor of The Three F @filippofiora, Lifehack @lifehackorg, and Holstee @HOLSTEE. I tweeted the posts that I made on Instagram, Waldina, and Wasp & Pear.

The Stats:

Total Tweets: 315 (automatically deleted after 31 days to preserve freshness)
Following: 324
Followers: 119

May The 4th Be With You nasty drink recipe:

 

come find me…
I chronicle what inspires me at Waldina.com
I faceplace at facebook.com/parkeranderson
I store my selfies at instagram.com/therealspa#
I tumblr at waspandpear.tumblr.com/
I tweet at twitter.com/TheRealSPA

 

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Happy Birthday Keith Haring – Style Icon

Keith Haring is someone whose work you know. You have seen it everywhere from MTV in the early days to yesterday on the side of a bus. His influence and legacy are far-reaching with no visible end in sight. I remember I bought a Keith Haring shirt one summer in Traverse City Michigan, it must have been 1990. It depicted a snake getting cut in half with the words “End AIDS” running under it. I loved that shirt, it made me feel powerful and involved and it gave me a voice.  Keith would have been 56 years old today if he hadn’t died when he was 32.  Do something today to make him proud.

If nothing else, download the Keith Haring iPad app today from iTunes.  It’s free in honor of his birthday.

 

NAME: Keith Haring
OCCUPATION: Painter
BIRTH DATE: May 04, 1958
DEATH DATE: February 16, 1990
EDUCATION: Ivy School of Professional, Art School of Visual Arts
PLACE OF BIRTH: Reading, Pennsylvania
PLACE OF DEATH: New York, New York

BEST KNOWN FOR: During his all-too-brief life, artist Keith Haring became a sensation in the art world with his bold, cartoon and graffiti influenced works during the 1980s.

The Wiki:

Born on May 4, 1958, in Reading, Pennsylvania. During his all-too-brief life, Keith Haring became a sensation in the art world with his bold, cartoon and graffiti influenced works during the 1980s.

Growing up in Kutztown, Pennsylvania, he spent many hours drawing with his father. Haring was fascinated by the popular cartoon art of Walt Disney and Charles Schultz.

Haring briefly attended the Ivy School of Professional Art in Pittsburgh after graduating high school in 1976. He dropped out after two semesters. In 1978, Haring decided to return to school, moving to New York City to become a student at the School of Visual Arts. With its thriving underground art scene, New York seemed to be the perfect fit for the young artist. He began using the city as his canvas, making chalk drawings of barking dogs and babies in subway stations. He also befriended such other emerging artists as Jean-Michel Basquiat and helped organize exhibitions at nightclubs and other alternative locations.

In 1982, Haring had his first New York one-man show at the Shafrazi Gallery. Not only did he create paintings and sculptures for the show, he engulfed the entire gallery with his bold color choices and frenetic designs. A critical success, he soon became one of most popular artists of the time with exhibits in Japan, Brazil, and many other countries.

Haring collaborated with other artists and performers, including Andy Warhol and William Burroughs.

Wanting to make his art more accessible, Haring opened Pop Shop in New York City in 1986. The store sold posters, t-shirts, and other items baring his artwork and designs. He was also interested many social causes, painting an anti-drug mural that same year. In all, he did more than 50 public works and held numerous workshops for children. In 1988, Haring discovered that he had AIDS. The next year he created the Keith Haring Foundation to support AIDS organizations and children’s programs.

Haring died on February 16, 1990, of AIDS-related complications. His works continues to be exhibited around the world and many are owned by such prestigious museums as the Art Institute of Chicago, the Museum of Modern Art in New York City, and the Centre Georges Pompidou in Paris.

Polaroid by Andy Warhol

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Rear View Mirror – My Week In Review

This morning, I woke up thinking about David Rakoff.  I often listen to the audio book version of his last book “Love, Dishonor, Marry, Die, Cherish, Perish: A Novel” because it is read by him, written entirely in verse, and so brilliant my eyes fill with tears when I think of it.  Below the worst picture of him I could find is an essay about Karl Lagerfeld that David Rakoff wrote a while back. History has shown us that you can be a genius and a monster at the same time.  We have examples of the various perversions and mutations of the genius, but I am guessing that genius or not, the monster part is actually more rooted in insecurities.  A genius should be confident in his abilities and talents.  An evil genius may have come by the “genius” title accidentally and his insecurities of being “found out” have caused him to become a notorious asshole.  When you are a monster, no one bothers to get close enough to find out that you are really just an insecure man guarding the secret that he is merely average.  But David Rakoff (as always) says it best.

fat-karl-lagerfeld

“All of the designers I have met up to this point have been very nice, although upon being introduced to Karl Lagerfeld, he looks me up and down and dismisses me with the not super-kind, “What can you write that hasn’t been written already?”

He’s absolutely right, I have no idea. I can but try. The only thing I can come up with right now is that Lagerfeld’s powdered white ponytail has dusted the shoulders of his suit with what looks like dandruff but isn’t. Not having undergone his alarming weight loss yet, seated on a tiny velvet chair, with his large doughy rump dominating the miniature piece of furniture like a loose, flabby, ass-flavored muffin over-risen from its pan, he resembles a Daumier caricature of some corpulent, overfed, inhumane oligarch drawn sitting on a commode, stuffing his greedy throat with the corpses of dead children, while from his other end he shits out huge, malodorous piles of tainted money. How’s that for new and groundbreaking, Mr. L.?”
― David Rakoff, Don’t Get Too Comfortable: The Indignities of Coach Class, The Torments of Low Thread Count, The Never-Ending Quest for Artisanal Olive Oil, and Other First World Problems

This week on Waldina, I celebrated the birthdays of I. M. Pei, Ella Fitzgerald, Shirley MacLaine, Barbra Streisand, Halston, Edie Sedgwick and Joan Miro.

The Stats:

Views This Week: 787
All Time Views: 111,681
Total Subscribers: 282
Most Popular Post This Week: Rudolph Valentino – Style Icon

This week on Wasp & Pear on Tumblr, I posted photos of classic Hollywood, Vintage Seattle. New York City and Interlochen. I posted Style Icon profiles for Lauren Bacall, Keith Haring, Carrie Donovan, Dovima, Francis Farmer, Romon Novarro and Cesar Romero. I celebrated Shakespear’s birthday. I posted the art of Roy Lichtenstein, Keith Haring, Andy Warhol and Cecil Beaton.

The Stats:

Posts This Week: 77
Total Posts: 2,130
New Subscribers: 3
Total Subscribers: 167
Most Popular Post This Week: Happy Birthday Barbra Streisand

This week over at the @TheRealSPA chunck of Twitter, I set up the automatic deletion of tweets older than 31 days and I turned off the retweets of any chronic retweeter. It is just a bit boring.

Come find me…

I chronicle what inspires me at Waldina.com
I faceplace at facebook.com/parkeranderson
I store my selfies at instagram.com/therealspa#
I tumblr at waspandpear.tumblr.com/
I tweet at twitter.com/TheRealSPA

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Rear View Mirror – My Week In Review

daylight saving time

Spring Ahead, Y’all.

This week, I got about 40 units of Botox shot into my face for the first time. So far, I don’t hate it. I have been told that it takes about five days for the full results to be visible, but what I see so far is good. It is not a drastic change and I do not look frozen and emotionless. It simply relaxed my forehead, between the brows and the corners of my eyes.

This week, I started the process of breaking up with my bank of almost 20 years. I should have switched to a credit union years ago when all the big banks conspired to break the world. You should consider doing it too, if you haven’t yet.

This week on Waldina, I celebrated the birthdays of Jean Harlow and Tammy Faye, I posted advice from Nora Ephron and Katharine Hepburn, and I added North By Northwest and My Man Godfrey to the Required Viewing film series.

The Stats:

Total Views: 104,532
Views This Week: 687
Total Subscribers: 260
Most Popular Post This Week: Banned Books That Shaped America: The Scarlet Letter

This week on Wasp & Pear on Tumblr, I posted vintage photos of Seattle, New York, Interlochen Center for the Arts and Hollywood, I posted the art of Jean-Michel Basquiat, Andy Warhol, and Keith Haring, and the photography of John Rawlings.

The Stats:

Total Posts: 1,855
Posts This Week: 69
Total Subscribers: 159
Most Popular Post: Katharine Hepburn – Words To Live By

This week on @TheRealSPA on Twitter, I tweeted “FUCK YOU rain” and it needed to be said.

The Stats:

Total Tweets: 1,028
Followers: 294
Following: 91

This week over on @TheRealSPA on Instagram, I posted a photo of me getting Botox shot into my forehead and a photo of my shoe/sock/suit combo.

The Stats:

Total Posts: 570
Total Followers: 132
Following: 143

This is where I’m @:

I chronicle what inspires me at Waldina.com
I faceplace at facebook.com/parkeranderson
I store my selfies at instagram.com/therealspa#
I tumblr at waspandpear.tumblr.com/
I tweet at twitter.com/TheRealSPA
I ADN at alpha.app.net/spa

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Rear View Mirror – My Week In Review

I am continually surprised at the number of people that have scanned old catalogs and put them online.  I found these scans from the Montgomery Ward Fall 1970 catalog the other day and became mesmerized.  They are almost as groovy as the 1968 Sears catalog that introduced the Neatniks (the clean cut counter to the Beatnik counter culture).  I like the Montgomery Ward calendar even a bit more because they have decor with great carpets, TVs, and bedding.  The story is Montgomery Ward is similar to that of other American department stores:  started at a dry goods mail order company in the 1870s, expanded into physical stores, followed acquisition, consolidation, bankruptcy, restructuring and liquidation.  It is a sad story of the collapse of an iconic American brand due to it’s failure to understand the evolving needs of it’s consumers.

This week on Waldina, I celebrated the birthdays of Hubert de Givenchy, Patty Hearst, Gloria Vanderbilt, Kurt Cobain, Beth Ditto, Karen Silkwood, Cesar Romero, Thelma Ritter, Eugene Atget, Anna Pavlova, Judy Blume, Antonio Lopez, Robert Wagner, and I remembered the day Andy Warhol died.

The Stats:

Total Hits: 102,806
Hits This Week: 650
Total Posts: 1,022
Total Subscribers: 251
Most Popular Post: Happy Birthday Gloria Vanderbilt

This week Wasp & Pear on Tumblr turned on year old and I started a new daily feature posting the photographs that are randomly generated as my laptop wallpaper. I posted vintage photographs of Interlochen, Hollywood, Seattle, Braniff Airways advertising, the art of Paul Klee, Joan Miro and Keith Haring, the bio of Paul “Swifty” Lazar, a few Instagram photographs, some new art by Ricardo Romero Cortez Duque, a collection of Warhol polaroids, and of course abandoned places.

The Stats:

Total Posts: 1,760
Posts This Week: 79
Total Subscribers: 155
New Subscribers: 4
Most Popular Post: Christy Turlington – Style Icon

This week on The Art of Ricardo Romero Cortez Duque on tumblr, I uploaded a couple new paintings that he finished recently. I will be taking new photographs of them and updating the ETSY shop shortly.

This week at @TheRealSPA on twitter, I stopped following a lot of individuals and political figures that were not following me back. I felt like I was opting-in to their marketing. My favorite tweet is: “I wonder why some guys are so upset about #MichaelSam coming out? guess they don’t like thinking about black muscular gay men, but cant stop.”

The Stats:

Total Tweets: 874
Following: 289
Followers: 85

Who you should be following/subscribing:

BEGUILING HOLLYWOOD: It is not a secret I adore vintage Hollywood and this is my absolutely favorite site for that reason. Miss Vickie serves up the classic silver screen lushness with a sharp wit and a terrific narrative.

LENSBLR: Lensblr is an advocate for the Photographers on Tumblr. They collect and distribute beautiful images daily. Everyone needs a bit more beauty in their lives.

This is where I’m @:

I chronicle what inspires me at Waldina.com
I faceplace at facebook.com/parkeranderson
I store my selfies at instagram.com/therealspa#
I tumblr at waspandpear.tumblr.com/
I tweet at twitter.com/TheRealSPA
I ADN at alpha.app.net/spa

Do your worst.

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SPA v44.0 Launch is Live

Every birthday, I dust off this old gem, read over it, trim a bit here, add a bit there and repost it.  It is my way of keeping in check with what I have decided is who I want to be.  The whole process takes a week, I read and reread, I think about what is missing, how I want the words to read and what I want them to convey.  This year, along with the slight editing, I added a new “Exercise and Skin Care” paragraph.  I am very disciplined about both.  I have this one body and it needs to last at least another 50 years and hopefully run at peak performance for most of it.  Every year, I also take a current photo, I like how much I look like my bitstrips guy right now, so I split-screened it.20140119_125101“What I Have Learned So Far”

I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I want to continue to grow and change and progress until I die.  I do not ever want to rest on my laurels, get set in my ways, do something a specific way for no other reason that I have always done it that way.  I want to be routinely evaluating my choices to see if they still match with the person I am and the person I am on my way to becoming.  We can all do that, think about what is important to you and then reflect at the end of the day, as you drift off to sleep, to see if you accomplished it.  It is really less of a score card and more of a reminder for the next day.  Did you possess compassion whenever possible and applicable?  Did you express gratitude to your friends and family for being able to share each other’s life?

I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.  The past is nothing we can control and it can color who we are, but we can make the decision to be anything we set our minds to.  Create your identity, do not let it be assigned to you.  The traumas of our childhoods can easily make us into “victims” or “survivors” and we can hide behind that identity for the rest of our lives if we desire.  That trauma happened a long time ago and is over, to continue the trauma is your choice, but it does not give you a free pass to poor behavior.  It is a long struggle to be able to recognize you are worth good things happening to you, once you allow that thought to enter your consciousness, you start to let go of the past.

I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change. Sometimes, our paths run right along each other at the same speed, seeing the same sights.  Then our paths may separate, but that does not erase our history and the reasons why we first became friends.  We all understand that we change, so thinking that our friends shouldn’t is unreasonable.

I’ve learned that money is a horrible way of keeping score.  Money does not make you better or worse than anyone, it is an instrument.  Like any other instrument, it can be used in a million different ways.  The most beautiful concerto can be played on an old piano just as easily as the keys of a Steinway can be smashed with a mallet.  Find something you are passionate about and devote your extra money to it’s promotion.  Make your money work for you as hard as you worked for it.  Keep the circle of energy flowing.

I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. “I say tomato, you say tomato. Let’s call the whole thing off. But oh! If we call the whole thing off, then we must part. And oh! If we ever part, then that might break my heart!”  The Gershwins were on to something.  Learning to not be so arrogant that your way is the right and only way will take you far in love and life.  The ability to see things from different perspectives, even if you disagree with those perspectives is a valuable skill.

I’ve learned that you can get by on charm and looks for only so long.  After that, you’d better know something.  This does not always seem true and maybe the length can stretch out for years, but in the end the boys and girls will stop turning their heads when you pass, so you better at least have some good stories of your youth to retell.  There is nothing wrong with physical charm, but giving it any weight and worth as a way to judge yourself or others is a mistake.  It is just a roll of the DNA dice. It does not matter how attractive a person is if they are ugly on the inside.  Everyone has a unique talent or gift in life.  Personally, I have always been drawn to people that have an ability to tell a story, that have a talent of finding humor everywhere, and people that know that life is an ongoing journey of exploration.  It is a physical attraction, an attraction to a glow or fire or something that people possess inside.  Have you ever tried having a conversation with nice biceps and teeth? Exactly.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do. We all have our talents, we all have our accomplishments, and for the most part, they are unique to us. Comparing yourself to the best parts of others will of course cause you to feel inferior.  The exercise in being proud of and happy for your friend’s success is a hard one.  It is hard to remove your jealousy or envy.  When you are able to do it, however, you become a better friend and a better person.  If you still cannot remove yourself from the equation, think about how awesome you are for choosing such talented and successful friends.  We can be happy when our friend’s are successful, no matter what Morrissey says.

I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you can’t.  It applies to running, it applies to life.  It is always darkest before the dawn for a reason, so you appreciate the dawn all the more.  Heartbreak and disappointment are horrible and painful, they can tear you into pieces from which you think you can never reassemble.  You can, and in time, you will.  That ability is one of the most exciting and unique parts of being human: resilience.  Knowing that life right now is hard, but having the memory and perspective that none of it is permanent and situations will change.  “Don’t give up, I know you can make it good.”

I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.  Learning to understand their language may make the difference between feeling loved and feeling neglected.  Getting mad because someone doesn’t love you the way you want to be loved is like getting mad because the IKEA furniture assembly instructions are only in Swedish.  You can either try to translate and understand the IKEA instructions or you can shop somewhere with different instruction inserts.  Complaining will not bring you any closer to assembling that chair.

I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.  Every second of every day, we have the choice on how we are going to behave.  We can fly off the handle at the slightest things or we can choose to not let them ruin our day.  How we react and behave to every day situations is completely in our control.  Our past experiences may point us in a knee-jerk direction, but they have no actual power over us today.  Choose an attitude that would make you proud of the person you are.  If it does not feel natural to behave that way, fake it, eventually, it will become part of you.  I am a strong believer in the school of “Fake it ’till you make it.” I am a result of that philosophy.  I didn’t like something about me or recognized something about me that didn’t work, thought about how I could do it differently, and consciously did it that way going forward.  It did not immediately feel natural, but eventually, it became a part of me.  It is like diet and exercise for your character, it is hard and strenuous, but eventually, it becomes who you are.  Anger is ego, we all know this.  That person that cut you off in traffic did not do it to you because of who you are, they just did it.  It didn’t happen to you, it just happened, don’t take it so personally that it changes your mood.  Don’t hold onto it, that energy is undirected and wasted.

I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. The title of “Hero” has been been attributed to so many people in so many ways that it’s meaning has been diluted.  For this, I mean a person whose courage and strength I admire.  Heroes are quite often not popular or even liked at the time, usually because their actions cause discomfort and disruption.  Heroes see how the world can be a better place and do their best to change it.  For the most part, actors, athletes, popular musicians, and politicians are bad choices as personal heroes, there are plenty of examples why.

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you.  All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.  Learning and accepting that you cannot control how other people feel or react to your feelings is freeing.  I have learned to not withhold my feelings due to fear of them not being matched with equal strength from the other person.  Feelings are not discounted just because they are not returned.  Love and affection require expression to attain it’s full potential, they need air around them to grow.  It is crucial that you allow the organic nature of your feeling to exist and not squelch or play down them in any way. Washington Irving wrote, “Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.”  Take a chance, take a leap, the air rushing under your feet will do you good.

I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts. Everyone knows this.  Your job and your stuff you love will never give you a ride to the airport or love you back. Your things you have will not bring you love.  That BMW will get you attention that at first may seem a lot like love, but it is probably more like envy. The people you touch in your life may not sit impressively on your mantle or fill up your checking account, but they will hold your hand when you cry and bring you soup when you are sick. In life, the immeasurable out-values all. There are no price tickets attached to love, devotion, friendship, and loyalty.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back. None of this changes how I should feel.  Zelda Fitzgerald is quoted as saying, “I don’t want to live — I want to love first, and live incidentally.”  I find myself thinking of this quote often and understanding it to mean that we need love to live, that we should approach life as a series of opportunities to love.  Everyone has been on both sides of this coin at one point in life: the lover and the loved.  It sucks and I hate it, but at the same time, there is a real rawness to heartbreak that is the purest of emotions.  That emotion has no ulterior motives, no hidden agendas that it hopes by creating one, another will follow.  It is pure loss, pure ache, and purely human. No matter how horrible it is, you feel so alive and wonderful knowing that you possess such capacity for feeling.

I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.  It may be the last time you see them.  Bring everyone you meet a gift.  This obviously does not mean a physical item wrapped with a bow, it could be a compliment, a touch, a smile.  Do not leave things unsaid for fear of over exposing your heart.  Your heart functions best when exposed raw to the air, it expands and produces more than ever imaginable.  This applies too even if you were thinking about someone during the day, send them a text or email to tell them.  Keep communications open, don’t let too much time pass.

**New For SPA v44.0**

Move.  Motivate.  Moisturize.  Do your best to create and maintain healthy habits.  I know that when I am not physically active, running, lifting weights, I feel depressed.  My body feels depressed and out of sorts when I do miss more than a couple days at the gym.  It’s because it’s my body’s habit to be active, to experience an elevated heart rate, to stretch and push the boundaries of my musculature.  I feel so much better having gone to the gym.  That does not mean that I am always super excited about going to the gym.  My motivation for keeping a regular gym habit is elevated energy/mood, stress management, strength as I age, and vanity.  Do not underestimate the power of vanity, when harnessed for good, it can accomplish a lot.  Moisturizing falls under the Gym/Motivate/Vanity tab and plays a part in taking care of yourself.  I hope that I can live at least another 50 years (who knows what science will have done by then?) and I want those 50 years to be healthy active ones.  It is my job to keep myself in the best shape I can.

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I chronicle what inspires me at Waldina.com
I faceplace at facebook.com/parkeranderson
I store my selfies at instagram.com/therealspa#
I tumblr at waspandpear.tumblr.com/
I tweet at twitter.com/TheRealSPA
I ADN at alpha.app.net/spa

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Don’t Do It For Anyone Else – Self Help

Today is my last day working for a company that I should have left a year ago.  The stars had to align, I had to find the best next step for me.  Basically, I had to run to something and not run away from something.  I think that I have found it and just like with most major changes, it happens so slowly it is almost undetectable, but with a blink of an eye, it was the new reality.  If I could give advice to my coworkers today, it would be to apply and interview everywhere, know your worth, make sure your obligation is to yourself first.  A long time ago, I got some advice from a coworker on her last day at that very large .com retailer I used to work for, she said “Don’t ever love a company because it is incapable of loving you back.”  It seemed harsh at the time, seeing I was still there and she was leaving.  Over the years, I have understood more of what she was saying:  Keep your priorities in check, Your obligation is to yourself first, Do not lose sight of who you are. It is true, we all fall into it to some extent, but unless the company is your creation, do not let it become your identity.  Hopefully, your company finds value in you and is active in creating a path that allows you to grow along with it and you are recognized for your efforts and participation in it’s success.  The successful company part of you is great, but it is not your identity.  Keep something for yourself.  Do something that is you and only you, that you enjoy.  Don’t do it for anyone else.

There is so much I could and want to say about Keith Haring, he is a personal inspiration and style icon.  I think of this advice quite a bit and is a lot to do with how I structured waldina.com.  I wanted to chronicle what inspired me, good and bad, but mostly good.  I didn’t think too much about what it would mean to anyone else, I figured it would be somewhat interesting from time to time and maybe every now and then, someone would find something they could use in their life.  But I knew I would only think it was good if I only did it for myself.

It’s incredible to think that Keith Haring was only alive for 31 years, given the impact of his work. In New York particularly, his public pop-art greeted many thousands of people every day, and internationally is highly regarded and recognized as a major art influence. He also left behind a valuable legacy that includes, alongside his artwork, the Keith Haring Foundation; launched in 1989 “to assist AIDS-related and children’s charities”, said disease being the cause of his death just a year later.

Below: a brief letter of advice he wrote to an aspiring artist and fan of Haring’s work, circa-1987.

KEITH HARING

676 BROADWAY N.Y.C. 10012 212-477-1579

Michael -

Thanks for your letter. I draw everyday. When I was 15, I wanted to be an artist so I drew all the time. It was my only visible talent.

Whatever you do, the only secret is to believe in it and satisfy yourself. Don’t do it for anyone else.

Good luck,

Keith

World AIDS Day

"Stop AIDS" by Keith Haring

“Stop AIDS” by Keith Haring

Yesterday was the 25th anniversary of the first World AIDS Day.  AIDS has killed more than 25 million people worldwide between 1981 and 2007.  Nearly 1.2 million people are living with HIV in the U.S. and one in five of those are unaware of their infections.  Knowing is everything, make an HIV test part of your routine physical.

It is not a gay disease, it is not an African disease, it is not a junkie disease, it is not a disease that is given to people who behave badly or have unacceptable lifestyles, and it is not God’s punishment. It does not discriminate, it just kills. Some of the most influential people in my life are HIV positive, or I should say most of the most influential people in my life are HIV positive.

"Silence = Death" by Keith Haring

“Silence = Death” by Keith Haring

I have been donating my time, money, and my gently-used items to Lifelong AIDS Alliance in Seattle for years.  Lifelong Aids Alliance does great work for people living with HIV and other chronic illnesses.  There are similar services in every community across the world, find one near you and see what type of donations (canned goods, clothing, time, money) they take and give to them the next time.

  • Here is a link to their donation page:  http://llaa.org/donatenow $54 – Provides one week of fresh meals and groceries for a person living with HIV/AIDS or other chronic illnesses.
  • Visit the Digital AIDS Quilt and create your own panel:  http://www.2015quilt.com/ While you are there, make a pledge to do what you can to help.
  • Tweet/share/re-blog all or any part of this post, increase awareness and involvement with your friends.

I am who I am today because of the amazingly talented, fiercely devoted, and ridiculously hilarious guys that have influenced me to be creatively fearless, to love unapologetically, and to be true to what is important to me.  Every birthday candle I blow out, every coin I throw into a fountain, every time I am required to make a wish, I wish for their health and a cure to be found.

I, along with the world, miss Anthony Perkins, Pedro Zamora, Freddie Mercury, Alvin Ailey, Rudolf Nureyev, Halston, Keith Haring, Herb Ritts, Isaac Asimov, Randy Shilts, Dorian Corey, Leigh Bowery, Robert Mapplethorpe, and many more.

The Global HIV/AIDS Crisis Today

HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, has become one of the world’s most serious health and development challenges:

  • 33.4 million are currently living with HIV/AIDS.
  • More than 25 million people have died of AIDS worldwide since the first cases were reported in 1981.
  • In 2008, 2 million people died due to HIV/AIDS, and another 2.7 million were newly infected.
  • While cases have been reported in all regions of the world, almost all those living with HIV (97%) reside in low- and middle-income countries, particularly in sub-Saharan Africa.
  • According to the World Health Organization (WHO), most people living with HIV or at risk for HIV do not have access to prevention, care, and treatment, and there is still no cure.
  • The HIV epidemic not only affects the health of individuals, it impacts households, communities, and the development and economic growth of nations. Many of the countries hardest hit by HIV also suffer from other infectious diseases, food insecurity, and other serious problems.
  • Despite these challenges, there have been successes and promising signs. New global efforts have been mounted to address the epidemic, particularly in the last decade. Prevention has helped to reduce HIV prevalence rates in a small but growing number of countries and new HIV infections are believed to be on the decline. In addition, the number of people with HIV receiving treatment in resource poor countries has increased 10-fold since 2002, reaching an estimated 4 million by 2008.