Tag Archives: Social media

40 Things To Say Before You Die – Self Help

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Before you’re sprawled on your deathbed, there are some things you really have to say. They’re not complicated. They’re not poetry.

They’re just short sentences with big meaning.

I hope they get you talking.

40
“I wonder.”

Give yourself time to think so the time you spend doing things will be better spent.

39
“Today was good.”

If you can say it once, you can say it again. And again. And again.

38
“I believe in this.”

A god, a plan, a company, a person, an idea—you have to put your faith in something.

37
“I’m not finished.”

Only you get to decide when your life’s work is done.

36
“Thank you for making this possible.”

Because nobody does anything alone. We’re driven and supported and thwarted by others at every turn.

35
“That’s enough.”

Food. Drink. Episodes of Law & Order. Pairs of shoes. Overtime. Articulating your own limits is powerful.

34
“I can do better.”

As soon as you say it, you’re that much closer to making it true.

33
“I’m sorry.”

But you can’t just say it; you have to mean it. Really mean it.

32
“I survived.”

Moments of danger are the plot points of an exciting life.

31
“You’re amazing.”

Let yourself be in awe of another person, and you’ll feel strong and weak simultaneously.

30
“I am home.”

Home is every adventure’s final destination and starting point—and we all need one to call our own.

29
“I did my best.”

If this is true, you did something amazing.

28
“How can I help you?”

Because you want people to come to your funeral, and if they can’t make it, at least they’ll miss you.

27
“I’m lucky.”

You are lucky, in a way that no one else is. Now, what are you going to do with your good fortune?

26
“I want that.”

Ask for it: that’s you get what you covet—from others and for yourself.

25
“This is wrong.”

If you never say it, you embody the statement.

24
“I quit.”

Not everything is worthwhile, and sometimes we don’t find that out until we’re in the middle of a rotten situation.

23
“Isn’t this beautiful?”

The more often you notice the gorgeous world around you, the happier you’ll be.

22
“Congratulations.”

Say this without jealously. Practice if you have to.

21
“Damn, I look good.”

You come from a long line of people who convinced others to sleep with them. Remember that.

20
“I can master this.”

The ability to learn is the foundation of every other talent.

19
“Hold the mayo.”

Ask for the little things on a regular basis and you’ll find that it’s easier to make larger demands on occasion.

18
“This is who I am.”

The nervous energy spent pretending to be something you’re not is better spent on practically anything else.

17
“Get out.”

It’s always harder to take back an invitation than to give one, but protecting yourself from personified trouble is always worth the effort.

16
“That was my contribution.”

Own what you’ve worked to create—that’s how your presence will be felt long after you’re gone.

15
“I’ll try it.”

Consider the impotence of never saying you’ll try.

14
“Tell me more.”

Really getting to know someone (or some topic) will help you better triangulate your own place in the world.

13“This is my favorite thing.”

Enjoy what you love and say this as often as you can.

12
“I earned this.”

There’s a layer of proud ownership over everything you possess that wasn’t merely given to you.

11
“I don’t care.”

Being able to discern between what’s important and what’s trivial is a skill that will save your sanity and your schedule.

10
“Your secret is safe with me.”

Because it feels deep-down good to be trustworthy.

9
“Eureka!”

Being the first to know something is a delicious sensation.

8
“Let’s go!”

Where you’re going often matters far less than the enthusiasm you have for the trip.

7
“I trust you.”

We all need allies, and admitting as much helps forge alliances.

6
“I don’t know how to do this.”

It’s better to admit it and learn than to fake it and embarrass yourself.

5
“I’m terrified.”

Fear is an asset. It can save you from danger and alert you to trouble. Don’t ignore the tingles that run up and down your spine.

4
“This is going to work.”

When this is said truthfully, it’s an assertion of power.

3
“I made a decision.”

Autonomy transforms any activity from a chore to an act of destiny.

2
“I love you.”

We all want to say this, and we all want it said to us.

1
“I understand.”

More important than being right, or being important, is being truly aware.

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Daily Prompt: Ghostwriter | The Daily Post

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Question:  If you could have any author –living or dead – write your biography, who would you choose?

Answer:  This morning, I woke up thinking about how one of the dogs has a greater understanding and perfection of ennui than most humans could ever even have.  Dino is an absolute sweet baby boy, but he gets these moods where he just mopes.  The are hilarious to see on a dog, especially on a dog that is completely untrained and spoiled rotten.

My natural immediate response to the above question is F. Scott Fitzgerald, but having one’s life story be told in faded gilding squandered opulence manner may not be the sort of legacy that I am wanting.

I will have to choose David Rakoff, Douglas Coupland and Bret Easten Ellis to write my story.  Think hilariously witty duck-out-of-water disenfranchised underachiever with yuppy serial killer delusions.  I guess that works.

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Social Media and Me

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I had no idea what photo to choose for this post.

I had no idea what photo to choose for this post.

**since writing this, I have deleted my Google+ , twitter, and Pinterest accounts (and obviously stopped using Bufferapp, reddit, and digg). they just were not adding anything to my life. I did create a new tumblr blog called “Wasp & Pear” that I am still fine tuning. It appears that Tumblr is what facebook should have and could have been:  artistically creative instead of sinister.  Wasp & Pear will be getting push-feeds from my various places, plus content I find while I’m clicking around. It’s like a digest of what I ingest, internetly speaking**

It seems to bet getting to the point where I am losing interest in a lot of the internet.

I have deleted the Facebook app from my phone and really only check it once when I get home from the gym. I still post the daily blog post to it, but am considering even cutting that out at the end of the month. It seems like Facebook has really run it’s course. I have unfriended everyone who over-shares, argues, holds vastly different opinions/beliefs than mine, etc. I read things from people bragging that they have “friends of all beliefs and opinions,” but it is simply not true. These people are not their friends, they are people they are linked to on Facebook, they are not IRL friends. It is sad they do not understand that. Yes, I have deleted people because they have ‘liked’ things that either mean they are thoughtless idiots that like everything without thinking it through or they like things that means they cannot actually like/respect me (if you like Mars Hill Church, you cannot like me, if you like Paul Ryan, you cannot like me, simple fact). I do not have the interest in such internet hypocrisies. I am all-but deleting Facebook because I wish to continue to have a way to contact the people that are on my friends list, most of whom are either distant relatives and former schoolmates/coworkers. If there were an easy way to remove content I have already posted, I would probably ‘wipe’ it down to posts no older than one month. If you’re old enough to have a job and to have a life, you use Facebook exactly as advertised, you look up old friends, or you should. It’s the comment trolls that have ruined Facebook (and the entire internet actually. Why on earth do they allow comments on news stories? If a commenter had something relevant to add, they would have been quoted in the story.)

Do yourself a favor and avoid reading comments of any sort as much as possible, you will feel better about humans.

Obviously, I “chronicle what inspires me” at waldina.com and follow several wordpress hosted blogs. I am also utterly obsessed with brainpickings, letters of note, McSweeney’s, and lifehacker. They are smart, fascinating blogs that I read regularly (and you should too).  If you have a blog on the WordPress platform, you can add me to your reader, there is a RSS link on the right hand side, so you could really add me to any reader.

I tweet and ADN because I enjoy being able to quickly read news headlines and similar updates. I do not understand the desire for people (mostly some sort of self-described ‘coach’) to collect followers and then send out a constant flow of marketing tweets. No one cares and no one appreciates that shotgun approach. My tweets automatically self-destruct after seven days, I see no reason to keep stale tweets around. The media is designed to be of-the-now, so why archive old ones?  But now, I gave it up, I felt like I was requesting that companies try to sell me things.

I adore ADN because it is so tech-heavy and that is really what fascinates me, everyone on there is really smart. Plus, I got to be @spa.

Pinterest? Meh. I am more-or-less over it. It got better once I stopped following the people that were mistakenly using it as Picassa. Like I need to see all the photos of your kids on motorcycles? But unless I am planning a wedding (I am not), I do not really see myself looking at it regularly.  And clearly, I have deleted it.

LinkedIn has not found me a job yet, so I look at it as a required placeholder for that, but I will never submit updates of any kind to it. I will keep my information current, but it seems more like a public resume service than anything else.

Instagram is the best way to just drop a photo out there for whatever reason, I do not feel like it is as needy as posting it on Facebook. I like the filters and I like being able to snap a photo with my phone, play around with the colors and share it.

What is not to like about Words With Friends? I am usually in about four games with different friends and I am usually losing three of them. I am not sure why they continue to play with me, I guess they like winning. I like trying.

Don’t get me wrong, I am no Luddite, I adore technology, newness, convenience, and the amazing things that creative people have been able to create. I even have an IFTTT recipe set up to email me an invite when new start-ups are featured on betali.st. I am excited about the possibilities.

In conclusion (you can click on the hyper links to follow me:

  • Facebook: Over it.
  • Twitter: News headlines, etc. (DELETED)
  • ADN: Smartest people on social media.
  • Pinterest: Ya, I guess I can look at your garden inspiration photo collection. (DELETED)
  • LinkedIn: I would like it more if it worked better for me, it is really designed for professional networking.
  • Instagram: Keep posting photos of stuff you see on the street.
  • Words With Friends: My ass gets kicked regularly.
  • waldina.com:  I chronicle what inspires me and will continue to do so.  I like the blogs I follow and hope to find more.
  • Wasp & Pear:  Bloggers on Tumblr are very very hip.  It’s like you have walked into a party and everyone is talking about art, architecture and film and no one has even mentioned what they do for a living.
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Hey Thanks.

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I didn’t have a picture of pilgrims, but I had a picture of pills.

 

Since a large portion of us still remember getting our first cordless home phone, and testing it’s boundaries by walking as far away from the base station as we could (ours worked all the way to the mailbox), it is understandable that we can get annoyed from time to time with how constantly connected we are now.   I do not need to know everything going on in everyone that I follow/friend always now, right now, 3 seconds ago.  The ever-so-slightly younger generations are used to this level of connectivity and do not find the minutia exhausting, it is kind of like an advanced filter or just plain old ADD, but they have managed to deal with the constant updates.  This is why I am thankful for these little helpers:

Nutshellmail sends an email of everything that’s happened on Twitter, FB and Linkedin since the previous message. It cuts off at a given point which you can set, so you won’t get everything. But you don’t need to see every post. Status updates, replies, comments, likes, everything can be done through links in the email (which take you to their site).

IFTTT seriously changed my online life and made it less online without being less.  Does that make sense?  It allows you to create “recipes” that you design yourself (or borrow from other users).  If you like to tweet everything you post on facebook, they will do it automatically for you.  If you want an email every time NetFlix adds new streaming movies, or a new LifeHaker DealHaker post is created, or to have your facebook status updates automatically tweeted, it is all done automatically.  Brilliant.  Do you want to know when the CDC reports a Zombie outbreak?  They got your back.  Oh, it stands for IF This Then That, since you are creating specific criteria that triggers the recipe to launch.
Thank World Wide Web

This Is Why You Were Friended or Unfriended

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November 17th is National Unfriend Day, but why put off tomorrow what you can do today? I feel no obligation to remain facebook friends with people from high school or old coworkers or people I used to think were cute or celebrities or anyone that has a very different political/religious/social view. It’s a social media, not an argument media or disrespect others opinions media. It probably would have been better if facebook would have used a different word than “friends,” because un-friending is taken so personally when it doesn’t need to be. I do not see the need to “celebrate the differences” or “agree to disagree.” There are reasons that people fall out of contact with people they knew through circumstances of proximity, it is just that the internet now makes us feel obligated to stay in contact. We used to have the choice to keep in touch with people we no longer see daily, I say we still do. I recently went through my friends list and made some deep cuts using a pretty simple criteria: you need to be smart, funny and/or entertaining. I have to like you. Here are my examples:

If we worked together ten years ago and barely socialized outside of work then and not at all now and you have not helped me get a job at whatever company you moved to and you are not smart, funny and/or entertaining? Bye.

If your politics are very different than mine and you routinely refer to people with views different than yours in derogatory terms and are not smart, funny and/or entertaining? Later.

If you use your religion as a weapon against people who do not believe in your exact flavor of spirituality and are not smart, funny and/or entertaining? See ya.

If you invite me to join Farmville (or whatever is the next Farmville). Tootle-Loo

If your posts are sad pathetic cries for attention. So long.

If you are not smart or funny. The least you could do was post embarrassing drunken photos of yourself. Peace out.

If we went to high school together and the most we have ever interacted was the Facebook friend request and you have not grown into someone that is smart, funny and/or entertaining? I gotta go.

But do not take it personally, it is not you, it’s me. Well, it is not just me, it is an internet-wide trend and chances are you are unfriending too.

My reasons are quite similar to a recent study results. According to Pew’s most recent study on social networking sites, most users don’t agree with their friends’ political postings. As the election approaches, it’s only going to get worse. Here’s why we’re unfriending one another these days:

• Because you post too often about political subjects (10 percent of users have blocked or hidden someone for this reason)

• Because you posted something you find so disagreeable it was offensive (9 percent)

• Because you argued with me about politics (8 percent — but doesn’t it take two to make an argument?)

• Because you posted something that would offend my friends (5 percent)

• Because I disagree with your political posts (4 percent)

Unfriending has become so rampant that the word was 2009’s word of the year in the Oxford Dictionary. Emotions run high around unfriending, too — especially now that there are apps that notify users when they’ve been dropped from someone else’s Facebook list. There have even been cases of people reacting violently in real life to a cyber unfriending.

Other studies about Facebook unfriending, such as a 2010 one conducted by the University of Colorado at Denver, have come to similar conclusions.

“Unfriending reflects the instrumentalization and commodifying of friendship on Facebook,” Lee Siegel, author of “Against the Machine: Being Human in the Age of the Electronic Mob,” told the New York Times. “Why unfriend someone at all? After all, in the real world, you don’t just ignore an obnoxious relative. The very act of unfriending acknowledges that the Facebook definition of friend is different from the traditional.”

Here is how to clean up your facebook news feed:

Hide a person or a type of story (ex: quizzes or games)
Hover over the top-right menu of a story, click the drop-down menu and choose what you’d like to hide:

  1. Hide story will remove the story you’re looking at
  2. Hide all by and Unsubscribe from will remove the story you’re looking at, as well as all future stories from a person, Page, group, event or app
  3. Report story or spam will remove the story you’re looking at and help keep your news feed clear of stories like it in the future

If you accidentally hide something you want to see, click the Undo link.

To unfriend someone:

  1. Go to that person’s profile (timeline)
  2. Hover over the Friends box at the top of their profile (timeline)
  3. Click Unfriend

Note: If you choose to unfriend someone, you will be removed from that person’s friends list as well. If you want to be friends with this person again, you’ll need to send a new friend request.

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How To Launch An Executive Email Carpet Bomb

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Feel like you are not getting anyone to take you seriously at the bank/cell phone company/elected officials/school district/major retailer or all of the above?  Follow these simple steps to let everyone in the organization know exactly what is happening.  My only advice is to not threaten, swear, or demand.  I think that this sort of tactic worked pretty well when the Susan G. Komen Foundation pulled their funding to Planned Parenthood:  lots of emails from lots of people have power [speaking of, their big fundraiser is coming up in Seattle, I need to email them and let them know I made a donation to Planned Parenthood instead].  It is pretty easy to feel invisible and powerless when it comes to dealing with large organizations.  I hope it does not happen to you, but if it does, I hope the Email Carpet Bomb helps (or at least makes you feel better).

1. Exhaust normal channels
Have you called customer service? Asked for a supervisor? Hung up and tried again? Give regular customer service a chance to fix the problem before you go nuclear.

2. Write a really good complaint letter.
Be clear, concise, polite, and professional. State exactly what you want. See this post for complaint letter writing tips. Pitch your issue in a way that affects their bottom line. Spellcheck and include contact information.

3. Determine the corporate email address format.
Look through their website or Google for press releases. Examine the PR flack’s email address. What’s the format? Is it firstname.lastname@company.com? FirstletteroffirstnameLastname@companyname.com? Figure it out and write it down.

4. Compile a list of the company’s top executives
This is often available on the company website, under sections like “corporate officers” or “corporate governance.” You can also look the company up on Google Finance and look under management, although this list tends to only be partial.

5. Combine the names from step 4 with the format from step 3 to create an email list

6. Send your complaint to the list from step 5.

7. Sit back and wait.

via How To Launch An Executive Email Carpet Bomb – The Consumerist.

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Here’s Why You’ve Been Unfriended…

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If you hover your curser over the person’s name, a little box will pop up showing your mutual friends and another little “friend” box down at the bottom with a check in it.  If you click on the “friend” box, it will give you several options for lists to add/remove them from, show in news feed, and unfriend.  If they just post too much, you can unsubscribe from their news feed (it also breaks down what sort of posts you want to see or hide, if they post a lot of scores from games they are playing, this is handy).

All this means that you can take charge of how annoyed you let other people make you.  You can all but delete a friend without them knowing.  But if you ask me, sometimes, it is a lot easier to pull the trigger.  Tell them to of fcuk themselves, delete and/or block them, and move on with your day.

Politics and religion are not good dinner table conversations. Well, it turns out, it isn’t proper online fodder either.

A new report out by the Pew Internet and American Life Project finds that about 18 percent of people who use social media sites have blocked, unfriended or hid someone based political posts.  I’ve done it, heck, I did it yesterday.

It’s been suggested that social networks act like echo chambers of like-minded friends; birds of a feather and all of that. Interestingly however, only about a quarter of users always or mostly agreed with the political content posted by their friends.

So what kind of comments will shrink your social circle? If you post about political subjects frequently, if you’re argumentative or your online rants are just downright offensive, you stand a good chance of getting unfriended. But, take heart, the folks most likely to delete you are generally acquaintances or a distant friend. Close friends will probably just ignore your politically charged updates. According to Pew, two-thirds of social networking users will simply give your tweets or status updates the cold shoulder.

All this isn’t to say that social networking sites can’t generate a lot of political buzz—especially during the campaign season. According to the study about 47 percent of users have “liked” a friends political commentary and 16 percent have friended or followed someone based on similar political views.

via Here’s Why You’ve Been Unfriended….

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How to Suck at Facebook

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How to Suck at Facebook – The Oatmeal.

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