Humans are very sensitive to change: When we get a raise or commission, we really enjoy it — but we adapt at incredible speeds to our new wealth. Some studies have shown that in North America additional income beyond $75,000 a year ceases to impact day-to-day happiness.
Dancing always makes me happy, and it’s free! That said, it’s Friday, so please form a Soul Train line from the back and enjoy some new Daft Punk:
We will get back to banned books on tomorrow (or Monday), but for today, we celebrate the amazing Elaine Stritch at the time of her retirement at the age of 88. I have included a link to “At Liberty” below, you should watch it.
At 88, the consummate Broadway broad is giving up her apartment and moving home to Michigan. Here, a brief history of her life and career, along with some of our favorite quotes and anecdotes.
1942:
Stritch, age 17, arrives in New York from Detroit to study acting at the New School. “My biggest dream was to get out of Michigan—to discover life beyond the Sacred Heart Convent.”
Hung on to her virginity until age 30—but started drinking whiskey sours with Dad at 12.
October 1946:
Makes her first Broadway appearance in a flop called Loco.
October 1950:
Understudies Ethel Merman, another leggy honker, in Call Me Madam.
“I love Richard Rodgers, but he was a nervous man … He once said, ‘Every time I see you do a number, I never believe you’ll be able to do it again.’”
March 1955:
Her breakout: Grace Hoylard, a sassy diner proprietress, in William Inge’s Bus Stop.
1956:
Stars in an awful film called The Scarlet Hour. “The part was so terrible it looked like I was visiting the set: I had nothing to say. I just kept running into places saying, ‘Hi!’ The worst.”
“I was a ‘sweater girl’ in New York City, once upon a time. I’m very well endowed.”
1957:
While filming A Farewell to Arms in Italy, turns down a marriage proposal from boyfriend Ben Gazzara because she has her eye on her co-star Rock Hudson. “And we all know what a bum decision that turned out to be.”
“It gets tiring being a smartass.”
1958:
Starring in Goldilocks on Broadway, catches the eye of Noël Coward, who tells her afterward, “Any leading lady who doesn’t do a double take when a nine-foot bear asks her to dance is my kind of actress.”
Was cast as Trixie Norton in the pilot for The Honeymooners. Claims she was fired for acting too much “like Jackie Gleason in drag.”
1960:
Stars in the short-lived sitcom version of My Sister Eileen.
For three months in the sixties, worked as a bartender at Elaine’s.“I asked Elaine, ‘What about the regular bartender?’ And she said, ‘Fuck him.’ ”
October 1961:
Coward writes the role of Mimi Paragon in Sail Away expressly for her.
1965:
Plays the lesbian proprietor of a disco, co-starring with Sal Mineo in the cult film Who Killed Teddy Bear
April 1970:
The role she’ll never forget (nor will any cabaret let her): vodka-stinger-swilling Joanne in Stephen Sondheim and George Furth’s Company, with the showstopping song “The Ladies Who Lunch.” Incredibly, does not win a Tony Award.
After Judy Garland’s closing night at the Palace, spent the whole night playing poker with her at a party at the Pierre. How the evening ended: “Elaine, I never thought I’d say this. But —good night.’ ”
Married English-muffin heir John Bay in 1973; sent care packages of his products to friends for decades.
Circa 1978:
Starts cutting back on the booze. Quits altogether in 1987: “I couldn’t stand the frustration of having to stop after two drinks.”
On her diabetes, diagnosed in 1979: “It’s a pain in the ass, quite frankly.”
1980s:
Auditions to play Dorothy on The Golden Girls; during audition, tweaks a line of dialogue to say “Don’t forget the fucking hors d’oeuvre.” Does not get the part.
1987:
Stars in Woody Allen’s September.
October 1994:
Cast against type in the revival of the very earnest Show Boat. “I’ve got a lot of Americana in me … These days, I have trouble with unkind humor.”
July 5, 1996:
Inaugurates a recurring bit on the Late Show With David Letterman: Storms onstage, calls him the “pool boy,” wrings him out for misplacing her riding crop, calls him an “insolent little twit,” then makes a pass at him.
On her future non-retirement from performing: “Long as it has a wheelchair in it, I’m game.”
February 2002:
Bares all in her one-woman show Elaine Stritch At Liberty. At 77, finally wins a Tony. Adapts it into an HBO special two years later, then a cabaret show at the Café Carlyle, downstairs from her apartment.
When asked whether Stritch was a Method actor, Lee Strasberg responded: “Elaine Stritch was born with the Method.”
Since 2002, has lived in Room 309 of the Carlyle Hotel.
2009:
A silly fan spoof, “How the Stritch Stole Christmas,” appears on YouTube, with refrains such as “You’re a mean one, Elaine Stritch, but you really sell a spiel.”
Is only five-foot-seven, but “my legs are almost all of me.” Once, while dating a short guy, “When I finally felt secure with him, I said, ‘fuck you,’ and got myself some heels.”
July 2010:
Replaces Angela Lansbury as Madame Armfeldt in the Broadway revival of A Little Night Music. During one performance, gropes to remember
a line; when Bernadette Peters tries to help, she snaps, “No! Don’t you tell me what I’m supposed to say!” and ad-libs for two minutes, leaving the stage to overwhelming applause. Claims later that it was all in character.
On her couch: a pillow embroidered with the motto “Wherever you go, go with all your heart.”
April 2–6, 2013:
Plays her final club date at the Café Carlyle and will head off to a condo in Birmingham, Michigan, near her nieces and nephews.
Drinking Stories She quit the bottle three decades ago. But until then, she was on a tear.
No. 1:
“I drank with Bela Lugosi … One night he ordered his seventeenth Scotch, and they said, ‘Mr. Lugosi, you’ve had your last Scotch.’ And he does that trick with the tablecloth [snatching it from under the glasses] and says, ‘I vill go somewhere else for my liquor. Come on, Elaine.’ ”
No. 2:
“Sometimes I’d go right from the party to the matinee.”
No. 3:
“For 58 or 59 years, I never put a foot on a stage without a drink. Or anyplace else, come to think of it. But I was very disciplined … I had rules … Up here: two drinks, one before the curtain, another at intermission, a little backup, and that was it. Well, three maybe.”
Yes, She Dated Marlon Brando
It didn’t go so well.
At age 17, she insisted that, unlike every girl in her class at the New School, she wasn’t in love with her fellow student Marlon Brando. Then he called her at the convent where she lived on the Upper East Side and asked her out. (The mother superior answered the phone.) “Marlon Brando took me to a Methodist church, a Jewish synagogue, a Church of Christ the Scientist. He took me to the public library, he took me to a Chinese restaurant, and he took me to a strip joint. And at this strip joint, a tall redhead took off every stitch of her clothes and I burst into tears.” She went back to his apartment for a nightcap—and, when he abruptly appeared in his pajamas, bolted for home. That summer, when the two were doing a play on Long Island, Stritch confronted him for avoiding her; he thundered, “Elaine, I want two things from you: silence and distance.” He apologized a few months later.
*This article originally appeared in the April 8, 2013 issue of New York Magazine.
It has been suggested that since I do not believe in a magic sky god and the Easter Bunny, I do not believe in anything positive. Naturally, it was suggested by a person who does not know me and creates a strong argument for a future boycott of Daily Post writing exercises. It took me literally three clicks into the archives to find this post. So to calm any worries, I do believe in things that are positive, they just happen to be also real.
Seven Unrelated Things I love
1. Coffee. Coffee in bed. Coffee before headed out for the night. Coffee in cafes on rainy days. Iced coffee on hot days.
2. How Rick laughs when he watches videos of people falling down on YouTube.
3. Old books. I put rose petals inside them, then forget they are there for years.
4. Vetiver Extraordinaire cologne by Frederic Malle. It opens with a green but dry woody blast. The drydown is smoky, almost like embers from a dying campfire. No sweet notes, no cloying notes, just smoky wood.
5. Screwball comedies of the 30′s and film noir movies of the 40′s. If everyone is wearing a hat and talks a mile a minute, I will watch it.
6. Photo booths. The black and white, strip of four photo booths. I love how a group of friends cram onto the stool and close the curtain, smile, make fish faces, and wait the two minutes. They are where the magic happens.
7. Walking. It clears the head. You see so much more when you walk.
Lyrically it couldn’t have been more timely. With political unrest in Ireland, Palestine and further field, Costello’s track about working class army proles exploited by the government seemed right on the money. Steve Nieve’s ABBA inspired keyboard work was the cherry on the top.
Free from The Impressions, Mayfield’s solo debut ‘Curtis’ featured many shining moments – but ‘Move On Up’ was perhaps the finest. The uplifting horns and vocals were the heart of a track that empowered for a generation going hopefully and nervously into a brand new decade.
58 The Modern Lovers – ‘Roadrunner’
Released: June 1972
Written after multiple exposures to The Velvet Underground’s splatter-rock epic ‘Sister Ray’, Jonathan Richman’s laconic drawl perfectly reflected the arid, suburban boredom reflected in the track’s lyrics and repetitive riff. A precursor to the slacker rock phenomenon almost 20 years later.
57 Squeeze – ‘Up The Junction’
Released: May 1979
Inspired by a TV play by Ken Loach, Chris Difford’s lyrics were brilliant street poetry, a kitchen sink drama that zipped along with soap opera like speed via bawdy colloquialisms. The grand keyboard line was just as important as the words in making this a new wave classic.
56 The Velvet Underground – ‘Rock & Roll’
Released: April 1970
Lou Reed could have been singing about himself when he said Ginny’s life was “saved by rock’n'roll.” The guitars and bass sound jangling and groovy, whilst the usually dour Reed sounds positively born again as he intones lines about radio hits making everything “alright” again. From ‘Heroin’ to this in four years? Wow.
Junior’s falsetto vocal and the gentle swish of the instrumental track (produced by Lee “Scratch” Perry) belied the lyrics which spoke of civil unrest and societal tension. Little wonder it was covered by The Clash on their debut album.
A beautiful lyric from Bernie Taupin about navigating love on the road with future wife Maxine Feibelman was met by an instrumental that caught John at his singer/songwriter peak, creating a soft rock gem that would resonate with generations to come.
53 Thin Lizzy – ‘The Boys Are Back In Town’
Released: May 1976
With lyrics tense with a Springsteen-ish drama and multiple hooks – the legendary riff, the fist-punching chorus, the twin guitar solo from Brian Robertson and Scott Gorham to the chorus – this track is rife with the smell of summer lawns and the memories of beach parties. No wonder the track was co-opted by Irish rugby teams, jeans companies and Bon Jovi.
In a career of classic rock moments, ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ still stands out as Queen’s campest and most outlandish. A piano chanson (complete with Brian May’s jaw dropping guitar solo) leaps gleefully into a full blown operatic parody, and the results are legendary.
‘Lust For Life’ hums with skid row defiance, wrapped up with a seductive jangle pop bow. Little wonder it was later co-opted by Trainspotting – Bowie and Iggy reference heroin stalwart William Burroughs and dead dealers – but altogether, the song is as life-affirming as a gospel track.
“Here’s a way to dance my way out of my constriction,” croons the most famous song from George Clinton’s sci-fi funk collective. Quite literally, the act of dance used as a means of social change, a populace implored to boogie its way to freedom. A hell of a lot more fun than a worthy protest folk song, frankly.
Chrissie Hynde’s ultimate calling card, as she sidles up, leather jacket on, lips in a snarl – possibly with a tambourine in her hand to kill the mood, but still super cool. Rarely has a song so basic sounded so alluring, although the less said about the waitressy video, the better.
Songs about sex are very rarely that sexy themselves, falling down either on the side of awkward or icky. But ‘Sex Machine’ positively throbs and thrusts, keeping you in the moment and in the mood, building to an eventual happy finish.
Bob at his lilting best, looking back at his impoverished past in the ghettos of Trench Town in Jamaica. Imploring his girlfriend not to cry with the promise that things were going to get better, its hypnotic charm make it one of the best-loved of Bob’s catalogue.
96 Kate Bush – ‘Wuthering Heights’
Released: January 1978
Serene, pristine and deranged, nobody should underestimate quite how shocking it was when the teenaged Bush emerged to the world with this haunting piano melodrama of her own creation. Casting herself as tragic heroine Cathy from Emily Bronte’s gothic romance, perhaps the reason so few pop songs are based on classic novels is that they’d have to live up to this.
Siouxsie Sioux proved herself as far more than a scenester from punk’s notorious ‘Bromley Contingent’. This oriental-flavoured day-glo riot proved she had the personality and musical muscle to forge a career that would outlast and outgrow the scene that she came from. It was very quickly acknowledged as a classic.
94 The Slits – ‘Typical Girls’
Released: September 1979
The zippy and infectious signature tune from the definitive female force of the punk rock scene. Ari Up makes a simple, direct, but biting attack on the perceived attitudes to femininity, at once offering up a delicious and mischievous alternative.
93 Can – ‘Oh Yeah’
Released: February 1971
As the 70s hit their stride, Cologne’s krautrock pioneers evolved into more expressive and extreme forms of jazz-inflected sound. Their third record ‘Tago Mago’ is described as their most extreme, but this has stood the test of time as one their most beloved. Although rather less catchy than the Ash track of the same name.
In which the former Johnny Rotten did the unthinkable at the time and reinvented himself in an outfit just as compelling as the Sex Pistols. Musically a more mature strain of post-punk, but not lacking in his signature bile, here was a lacerating attack on what he saw as his exploitation at the hands of Malcolm McLaren.
The Beatles nudge into the ’70s by the skin of their career, and we find McCartney at his most McCartneyish for the band’s swansong. Looking back on one the most thrilling journeys in music history, Macca sounds sentimental and weatherbeaten, a man finding peace, and the song is one of the warmest and fuzziest of the decade.
*Im still in Mexico through the end of the week, these are posts that I have pulled out of the archives and tweaked a bit. Otherwise, you would be reading about how I read most of a book while lying near the pool yesterday. That’s just rude.*
I have not really given much thought to how I would like to die, other than quietly in my sleep at the ripe old age of 150 or something like that. I do know that now, I can say that no matter how I actually die, I do not want my body to be found hanging naked in a Bangkok hotel. If I am, don’t believe anything that 22 year old Puerto Rican house boy says, I was not into that business.
I had a dream a while ago that I moved into a new apartment/condo that was an old abandoned World’s Fair pavilion from the sixties. To get to my unit, there was a series of winding hallways and stairways and behind a set of twenty-foot tall electric blue velvet curtains. Inside my unit, it looked like a mini Graceland. A lot of shag. All my neighbors were totally crazy. It was like I somehow moved into a building inhabited by characters from “The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T.” Every time I left my front door, which by the way, was only a heavy velvet curtain, I would stumble into the middle of full-on choreographed musical numbers, including trapeze performers and that huge piano. None of it seemed to bother me, in fact, all I ever did as far as even acknowledging it was to tweet about how I was late for work because I got trapped behind a group of slow-moving dancing horn players. I woke up exceptionally confused.
On a related note, my family watched “The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T.” last Christmas. There is a little insight into my clan. Weirdos.
I am watching a show about The Green River Killer. They are interviewing people that knew and worked with him at the time. One guy mentioned that he thought it was strange that he would have huge yard sales consisting mostly of young woman’s jewelry and shoes. Most people do not jump to the conclusion that their neighbor or coworker is a serial killer, but I totally do. If my neighbor takes out his garbage late at night, I just assume it’s a body. I won’t be the neighbor that is interviewed on the news that says “He was such a nice guy, kept to himself, but friendly.” I’ll be the one that says “I knew it!”
Charles Joseph Whitman: Roman Catholic, Eagle Scout, University of Texas, Austin Tower Sniper. It does sort of suck that we as a society judge a person by the worst thing they have done in their life, but when they kill their mother and wife before killing 14 and wounding 32 classmates, it is rather hard to overlook. Plus, I never trust a Catholic. They have a lot of pent up anger over their religion being a complete scam.
“I don’t want the world, I only want what I deserve!”. – Beth Ditto; The Gossip; “Yr Mangled Heart”
Scream it from the rooftops, from your car, or softly whisper it at the copy machine. Feel it. Reclaim it. It’s pumping through your body, bursting to get out.
