Over here, we like all types of men. Sci-fi guys. Chubby men. Even men who aren’t real. Like these fictional heartthrobs from our favorite works of literature. We totally recall laying in our beds, curled up with our books, blushing at anything that even resembled sex. Years (or months, in some cases) later, we’re still hot for them. Whether they’re tragically flawed antiheroes or dashing leading men, these dudes all share one trait: They’re timeless pieces of sexy, sexy ass.
15. Dr. Carlisle Cullen, “Twilight.” Forget Edward, the everywoman’s heartthrob. We want the dad with the ageless features and the medical degree.
13. Mr. Darcy, “Pride & Prejudice.” He’s got the silent-but-sexy thing goin’ on. Plus, when he’s rude and standoffish to Elizabeth Bennett, it makes us want to rip that double-breasted coat off his tight little bod.
12. Ned Nickerson, “Nancy Drew.” Oh, Ned. You are so clueless yet such a catch. Age about 10 years, then let’s get crazy in the back of Nancy’s Roadster. She never has to know …
11. Atticus Finch, “To Kill a Mockingbird.” It’s Atticus’s stick-to-his-guns personality that makes us want him to glower at us from across a courtroom. Plus, post-bang, he’d actually be able to hold an interesting conversation.
10. Heathcliff, “Wuthering Heights.” So brooding. So dark. So smoldering sexy. Even if he went all bipolar on us, let’s be honest: Crazies are the best in bed.
9. “James Bond.” OK, OK. So we’d be just another chick in Bond’s harem, but that’s fine, The accent. The Aston Martin. The a-hole tendencies. He can double-ohhhh-seven us any day, anytime.
8. Holden Caulfield, “The Catcher in the Rye.” So technically having sex with a 16-year-old would be rape, but as soon as the talkative, manic depressive hits legal age, we’re so hitting that.
7. Phantom, “Phantom of the Opera.” Yes, we’d choose the totally creepy disfigured ghost over boring Raoul any day. Sure, he might frighten us, but at least we’d get to see his dungeon and torture chamber. Which might be fun.
6. Aragorn, “Lord of the Rings.” He’s a rugged warrior, yet incredibly modest. And with those rugged I’m-even-sexy-when-I-sweat good looks, we’d throw Arwen over a cliff for a piece of that.
5. Gilbert Blythe, “Anne of Green Gables.” After an exhausting day of tending to the ailments of the country folk, we’d tend to the all the needs of the dedicated doc. If you know what we mean.
4. Noah Calhoun, “The Notebook.” We totally admit we’re half-basing this off the movie adaptation starring smokin’ hot, shirtless Ryan Gosling. (But, really, can you blame us?) Six words. Make-up sex in the rain.
3. Logan, “Babysitter’s Club” series. If we were Mary Ann, heck, if we were any of the babysitters, we totally would’ve invited Logan over to “help” us babysit after the kids went to sleep.
2. “Macbeth.” Romeo = too dramatic. Hamlet = too weak. But Macbeth is all forceful-like. As soon as he had his mind made up he’s getting in our pants, he’s getting in our freakin’ pants. And hello, we’d totally calm those nightmares of his.
1. Rhett Butler, “Gone with the Wind”. Frankly, my dear, we don’t give a damn … how many glasses of brandy it takes to get you in bed. You will ravish us the way only a Southern gentleman knows how.