Yesterday was my 48th birthday. We all hear ‘age is just a number’ and to a large extent it is true. Age is defined by people that have been that age already or are currently that age. Comparisons. I look and act younger than some other 48 year olds, my outlook on subjects are more liberal, less rigid, and still fluid when stacked next to some 48 year olds. I rarely compare myself against other people in general. I have stopped looking at facebook entirely and that has helped. I compare myself against myself. The better/worse scale is against the me of last year or five or ten years ago. Last year at this time, I weighed 192 pounds (some of which was not in the right places), I worked at a job that was very sedentary, had very little growth potential, and sometimes even less human interaction. I changed my diet/exercise habits, changed my job, and in results of those changes, changed my attitude/behavior/outlook. As of yesterday, I weigh 172 pounds, I have a job managing a store of 9 employees, and I look and feel younger physically.
This time last year, I wouldn’t have thought of me as someone that could do the job that I am doing, be in the shape that I am physically, and be successful at it. Yesterday, a thought popped in my head as I was reviewing my past year and thinking about the changes that I have made:
You really have no idea what you are capable of until you fail, so you may as well keep pushing until then.
I mean, I feel like it’s probably on a coffee mug already, in no way is it that original of a thought, but until it becomes your thought, organically, maybe it really doesn’t mean anything. You can surround yourself with inspirational quotes and remind yourself of them every morning, but until it pops in your head without prompting, maybe you don’t fully understand them.
So, I guess this year, I am going to understand that and push myself until I break or fail or whatever result makes me find my limit. We all put safety min/max limits on ourselves, arbitrarily assigned inside our comfort zones, but how are those determined? I think they are assigned as to insure no discomfort occurs, but I think I had been assigning them well inside my comfort levels.
This year, I plan on pushing boundaries, mostly my own. There is a terrific Seattle area character, Gracie Hansen that is quoted as saying that “The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions.” I am taking this to heart this year. Join me, won’t you?