Last year, on or about my birthday (January 20th; still plenty of time to pre-order the black cashmere sweaters and book a Spa experience) I went on a social media fast. Is that what they call it? A fast? Whatever. I just placed my Facebook account on deactivated or disabled-ish or diet delete. Basically, that one step short of deleting. The much easier and quicker to find option.
This year, I am spitballing the idea of doing the opposite. Partially because I turning 50 in 36 days. On or about. I have been thinking about how I can chronicle my semi-centennial and have a few ideas. First, I was considering doing 50 new things, probably one a week, and chronicling them on Sunday nights. Then, I thought about starting a little youtube vlog and keeping track on my 50th year. I watch a lot of youtube videos and expect mine to be much more poorly shot, edited, and received by the genpop.
Now it’s gonna get dark.
I am not ok with turning 50. Not one bit. In fact, I don’t understand it, I don’t like it, and I am considering just letting people think I am a busted 36 year old. I have had a lot of time to consider why and have processed out a lot of the dumb parts. It’s not that I have a pre-written outline of who I should be and where I should be at this milestone, it’s not that at all.
I am having milestones that my friends that have died will never have and I am feeling guilty and lonely and confused. Am I neglecting my life when compared to my friends that are not ever going to experience this age and their stories are written.
So, by doing a weekly video vlog of my 50th year, recording my life and experiences, I am celebrating life, mine, and the life of my fallen brothers.
I started a video, a teaser, a preview.